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Economic progress is one factor that is being considered to measure the success of a country, but there are other factors that should be considered when measuring the success of a country. Do you agree or disagree? What other factors do you think should be considered? Do you think one factor is more important than others? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Economic progress is one factor that is being considered to measure the success of a country, but there are other factors that should be considered when measuring the success of a country. What other factors do you think should be considered? Do you think one factor is more important than others? 2EjM
Economic progress is one the factor to be considered as successful for the nation. Apart from economic factors there are also few factors that need to be considered for a country to be called a successful nation. In the following paragraphs I will explain the other factors which are responsible for the nation to be called as a successful one. To begin with, social factors such as basic necessities, free education and better health care services are some of the factors. Of all these foresaid factors the one which is important according to me is basic necessities which are food, clothing and shelter. Free education should be provided to the children upto 6 years of age. Better health care facilities to every citizen of the country. To conclude, not only monetary factors like economic progress is important for the development of the nation but also social factors are also important as mentioned above.
Economic progress is
Did you mean "one of"?
one
the
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factor
to
be considered
as successful for the
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nation
. Apart from economic
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factors
there are
also
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that need to
be considered
for a country to
be called
a successful
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nation
. In the following paragraphs I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the other
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factors
which are responsible for the
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nation
to
be called
as a successful one.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, social
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factors
such as
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
, free education and better health care services are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
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factors
. Of all these
Possible spelling mistake found.
foresaid
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factors
the one which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
according to me is
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
which are food, clothing and shelter. Free education should
be provided
to the children
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
6 years of age. Better health care facilities to every citizen of the country.

To conclude
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
like economic progress is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as mentioned above.

IELTS essay Economic progress is one factor that is being considered to measure the success of a country, but there are other factors that should be considered when measuring the success of a country. What other factors do you think should be considered? Do you think one factor is more important than others?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
153 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Economic progress is one factor that is being considered to measure the success of a country, but there are other factors that should be considered when measuring the success of a country. Do you agree or disagree? What other factors do you think should be considered? Do you think one factor is more important than others? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.