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The benefits of computers to modern society far outweigh the problems

The benefits of computers to modern society far outweigh the problems qomr
It goes without saying that our modern lifestyle is progressing so considerably that every branch of our society is replaced by computers that are one of the most vital technological advances. It is believed that the profits of computers to current society are more compared to their drawbacks. While computers can result in downsizing of industries, I consider that they can facilitate any difficulties due to their number of opportunities. On the one hand, computers are believed to diminish the number of manufacturing in society. In other words, due to the innovated technological devices, office community can be damaged since the jobs are mechanical and souless. As a consequence, it can lead to the dismissal of workers and high unemployment rate which are considered one of the major problems of society. On the other hand, I think any challenges we come across can be made easier with the indispensable aids of computers. In other words, through the conveniences created by computers man can overcome majority of difficulties and issues. This increases the efficiency and productivity of each industry and leads the nation to the peak of development. For instance, because of the accuracy and high memory one can store and process any data on computers. In conclusion, although some may claim that computers can reduce the amount of industries, I feel strongly that the challenges that we faced with can be relieved with the high facilities of computers.
It goes without saying that our modern lifestyle is progressing
so
considerably
that every branch of our society
is replaced
by computers that are one of the most vital technological advances. It
is believed
that the profits of computers to
current
society are more compared to their drawbacks. While computers can result in downsizing of industries, I consider that they can facilitate any difficulties due to their number of opportunities.

On the one hand, computers
are believed
to diminish the number of manufacturing in society.
In other words
, due to the innovated technological devices, office community can
be damaged
since the jobs are mechanical and
souless
. As a consequence, it can lead to the dismissal of workers and high unemployment rate which
are considered
one of the major problems of society.

On the other hand
, I
think
any challenges we
come
across can
be made
easier with the indispensable aids of computers.
In other words
, through the conveniences created by computers
man
can overcome
majority of
difficulties and issues. This increases the efficiency and productivity of each industry and leads the nation to the peak of development.
For instance
,
because
of the accuracy and high memory one can store and process any data on computers.

In conclusion
, although
some
may claim that computers can
reduce
the amount of industries, I feel
strongly
that the challenges that we faced with can
be relieved
with the high facilities of computers.
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IELTS essay The benefits of computers to modern society far outweigh the problems

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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