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Successful learning experience

Successful learning experience pXKY0
It was in the scorching summer season, April 2021 that I decided to learn how to swim. The global pandemic has been ongoing since January 2020 in our country with multiple nationwide lockdowns. Situations started to ease up a bit and cases of Covid had decreased considerably in that April that the government decided to lift up the ban and that’s when I decided to take a swimming lesson to combat my sedentary lifestyle exacerbated by working-from-home. I’ve always wanted to swim systematically since I was a child. I’ve had one-month swimming lessons that was offered by my elementary school when I was in 4th grade. Since I came from a family with modest means, my teaching lesson was kept short because the course was expensive. From that one-month course, I only learnt how to keep myself afloat in the water and simple front-crawl style. That course was the only swimming class I took in my entire life until April, 2021 and it was actually enough for me because I live nowhere near the water and I rarely go to swimming pools. Now that I have my own income, I’ve decided to actually learn how to swim again. My partner was my teacher so he put all his effort in teaching me. I first learned the most important task – breathing exercise. After that, since I know one basic swimming style, we move on to learning breaststroke swimming style, which was known as the easiest and fastest style to master for a starter. To my surprise, it only took me three days to learn the right way of doing a breaststroke! I wouldn’t be too quick in learning this style if I didn’t have a competent teacher that was only fo-cusing 100% beside me. I know the goal is to learn how to swim but I’ve come to learn that I love the process of learning. I loved every moment that I was in the water. I loved how the waves of water felt on my face when I dived into the water. I loved that, guided by systemic breath and movements, I was able to actually move in the water with ease. Most of all, my main purpose in the first place had been fulfilled and that I actually feel a sense of accomplishment, feel more agile and more productive in my work. This learning experience has taught me to never stop learning and that there are always benefits in each skill. Now, aside my teaching job, I am now starting to learn painting!
It was in the scorching summer season, April 2021 that I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decided
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
swim
. The global pandemic has been ongoing since January 2020 in our country with multiple nationwide lockdowns. Situations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
up a bit and cases of
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid
had decreased
considerably
in that April that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decided
to
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "lift".
lift up
the ban and that’s when I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decided
to take a swimming lesson to combat my sedentary lifestyle exacerbated by working-from-home.

I’ve always wanted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
swim
systematically
since I was a child. I’ve had one-month swimming lessons that
was offered
by my elementary school when I was in 4th grade. Since I came from a family with modest means, my teaching lesson was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
short
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the course was expensive. From that one-month course, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
myself afloat in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and simple front-crawl
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
. That course was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
swimming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
I took in my entire life until
When specifying a month and year, the comma is unnecessary: "April 2021".
April, 2021
and it was actually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
nowhere near the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and I rarely go to swimming pools.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
that I have my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
income, I’ve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decided
to actually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
swim
again. My partner was my teacher
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he put all his effort in teaching me. I
first
learned the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
task
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
breathing exercise. After that, since I know one basic swimming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
breaststroke swimming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
, which
was known
as the easiest and fastest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
to master for a starter. To my surprise, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
took me three days to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the right way of doing a breaststroke! I wouldn’t be too quick in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
if I didn’t have a competent teacher that was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
Possible spelling mistake found.
fo-cusing
100% beside me.

I know the goal is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
swim
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I’ve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
the process of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
every moment that I was in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
how the waves of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
felt on my face when I dived into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
that, guided by systemic breath and movements, I was able to actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
. Most of all, my main purpose in the
first
place had
been fulfilled
and that I actually feel a sense of accomplishment, feel more agile and more productive in my work. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
experience has taught me to never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and that there are always benefits in each
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, aside my teaching job, I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
starting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
painting!
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IELTS essay Successful learning experience

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
425 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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