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Developing of Fast food chains

Developing of Fast food chains QRPA3
In today's busy life, it is very difficult for us to give ourselves a nutritious and delicious meal. Therefore, fast food restaurant chains were born to serve that need. There are mixed opinions about the development of these fast food chains, and in my personal opinion, I strongly support them. First of all, the need for food has always been a basic human need. Especially in today's busy life, when people are immersed in work and study, they only have a very little time to take a lunch break. Cooking yourself a nutritious and delicious meal in that amount of time is very difficult to do. That's why office workers and students often choose fast food restaurants to fill their hungry stomachs and recharge to prepare for a busy afternoon. Therefore, having many fast food restaurants is a necessity for them so that they can change their tastes every day. Secondly, the expansion of fast food chains will help a large number of people have stable jobs. Every restaurant must have a chef, wait staff, cleaning staff, etc. This will help reduce the unemployment rate in each city significantly. Not only that, it also helps investors have an additional portfolio to invest when a large number of fast food chains are developed. Although the benefits of developing fast food chains are quite large, some people still oppose or even boycott these restaurants. They believe that the joining of fast food restaurant chains with menus of European and American dishes will make traditional local dishes go into oblivion. Not only that, they also think that fast food is very harmful to health when Wikipedia states that in Saudi Arabia, contemporary fast-food habits are linked to a rise in overweight and obesity among teenagers. I believe that the development of fast food restaurant chains is very necessary in today's society. However, we need to limit the consumption of fast food to some extent and instead use regional dishes and healthier dishes.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's busy life, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for us to give ourselves a nutritious and delicious meal.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chains
were born
to serve that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
. There
are mixed
opinions about the development of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chains
, and in my personal opinion, I
strongly
support them.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has always been a basic human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
.
Especially
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's busy life, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are immersed
in work and study, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
time to take a lunch break. Cooking yourself a nutritious and delicious meal in that amount of time is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to do. That's why office workers and students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
to fill their hungry stomachs and recharge to prepare for a busy afternoon.
Therefore
, having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
is a necessity for them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their tastes every day.

Secondly
, the expansion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chains
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have stable jobs. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have a chef, wait staff, cleaning staff, etc. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the unemployment rate in each city
significantly
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
investors have an additional portfolio to invest when
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chains
are developed
.

Although the benefits of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chains
are quite large,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
oppose or even boycott these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
. They believe that the joining of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chains
with menus of European and American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dishes
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
traditional local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dishes
go into oblivion. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that, they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful to health when Wikipedia states that in Saudi Arabia, contemporary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food habits
are linked
to a rise in overweight and obesity among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.

I believe that the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chains
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
necessary in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's society.
However
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to limit the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent and
instead
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dishes
and healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dishes
.
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IELTS essay Developing of Fast food chains

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
329 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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