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Success is often measured in wealth and material belongings. Does wealth measure success? What makes a successful person?

Success is often measured in wealth and material belongings. Does wealth measure success? What makes a successful person? 16pn
In undeniable that most of the succeed people tend to live a comfortable life with abundance of money to enjoy it. In fact, is frequently believed by some people that wealthy and fancy belongings means success. Whilst others believe that financial stability is not the biggest criteria to measure a successful person, which is my opinion as well. Success should not be measured by the amount of money and belongings of one’s life, but how much they have worked hard to get it. For instance, there are some of people who were born rich and inherited huge belongings from their parents. But due to the lack of knowledge of how to manage their money, they have lost everything over the years. In fact, those people did not do any effort to acquire that status, consequently devaluing their possessions. Being different of those mentioned people, there are several factors contribute to make a person successful. Firstly, is paramount to be a humble person and be open mind that difficult times will always exits regardless of the amount of one’s money. Secondly, having a dream job is another way of getting satisfaction in life. In addition, getting a suitable career that matches a person’s area of interest is inevitable for leading a happy and consequently, a successful life. Last but not least, stablishing goals and taking action towards prosperity. In conclusion, success has a different meaning for different individuals. While some relate being rich to being successful, I believe that the feeling of accomplishment through working hard is the real measure of achievement.
In undeniable that most of
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'succeed' is correct. If 'succeed' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the succeed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with abundance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to enjoy it. In fact, is
frequently
believed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that wealthy and fancy belongings means success. Whilst others believe that financial stability is not the biggest criteria to measure a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, which is my opinion
as well
.

Success should not
be measured
by the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and belongings of one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
how much they have worked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
were born
rich and inherited huge belongings from their parents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
due to the lack of knowledge of how to manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, they have lost everything over the years. In fact, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not do any effort to acquire that status,
consequently
devaluing their possessions.

Being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
of those mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, there are several factors contribute to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
.
Firstly
, is paramount to be a humble
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and be open mind that difficult times will always exits regardless of the amount of one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Secondly
, having a dream job is another way of getting satisfaction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
In addition
, getting a suitable career that matches a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
area of interest is inevitable for leading a happy and
consequently
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
Possible spelling mistake found.
stablishing
goals and taking action towards prosperity.

In conclusion
, success has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
meaning for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
individuals. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relate being rich to being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
, I believe that the feeling of accomplishment through working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
is the real measure of achievement.
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IELTS essay Success is often measured in wealth and material belongings. Does wealth measure success? What makes a successful person?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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