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Studying abroad brings many benefits; to what extent do you agree?

Studying abroad brings many benefits; QR1Jx
There are many arguments for students who decide to study overseas. The first of which is because they are living in the country where the language is being spoken, they can improve their language skills naturally. As a result of this, when the students return to their motherland, they might have more job opportunities, which in turn could lead to a higher salary and better standard of living. The second of which is that students can learn to live on their own whether they receive their money from their parents or their part time jobs. As a consequence of this, they can not only decide how to utilise the money but also how to manage the money, thus this will be to their own benefit throughout their entire lives. The last of which is because they are almost the children of prosperous people, highly reputational people, and highly educated people, students will have good connections with their group, regardless of their races. For example, when a Thai fresh undergraduate goes to study at Exeter, he meets an older Thai man who studies master of law at Exeter as well, aged 44, that makes them a connection onwards, so when they come back to Thailand the benefits from this connection might work. Despite the positive points, there are also many arguments against the decision to consider as well. Firstly, there will be a higher cost than studying in the students’ own countries because they need to pay other than their tuition fees such as utility bills, housing, and traveling expenses. Therefore, this might have added stress to the students. Secondly, some students decided to study abroad because they wanted to show their parents or their own financial position to their friends without the pure intention to study. Consequently, there will be no good to these students that they think studying in another country is in vogue. To sum up, the negative sides of studying abroad are mainly in financial aspects due to the higher costs of living.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
arguments for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
overseas. The
first
of which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are living in the country where the language is
being spoken
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
naturally
.
As a result
of this, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
return to their motherland, they might have more job opportunities, which in turn could lead to a higher salary and better standard of living. The second of which is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
whether they receive their money from their parents or their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
jobs. As a consequence of this, they can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
decide how to
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
the money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
how to manage the money,
thus
this will be to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefit throughout their entire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. The last of which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are almost the children of prosperous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
highly
reputational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, and
highly
educated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
connections with their group, regardless of their races.
For example
, when a Thai fresh undergraduate goes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Exeter
, he meets an older Thai
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
master of law at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Exeter
as well
, aged 44, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them a connection onwards,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to Thailand the benefits from this connection might work.

Despite the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
arguments against the decision to consider
as well
.
Firstly
, there will be a higher cost than studying in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they need to pay other than their tuition fees such as utility bills, housing, and traveling expenses.
Therefore
, this might have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
decided to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
abroad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their parents or their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
financial position to their friends without the pure intention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
Consequently
, there will be no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
studying in another country is in vogue. To sum up, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides of studying abroad are
mainly
in financial aspects due to the higher costs of living.
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IELTS essay Studying abroad brings many benefits;

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
336 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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