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Is shopping mall gain all the intention of people or not in the future

Is shopping mall gain all the intention of people or not in the future Vw1dm
Some people believe that the reason of going to the shopping centers in the future, wil be just for fun and the aspect of marketing will disappear. Alot of big shops made in big towns in all over the world and when everythings that everyone needs are there, with lots of stores in diffrent range and different size such as clothes, cosmetics, health and beauty products with food courts and intertainment tools, and they have not to go far-away for purchase it’s satisfying. But, my view is that as much as a grand market offers you fun activities, there are plenty of things that can’t be there like clubs, zoo, exebitions, amusment parks. However, shopping malls is becoming more popular due to this fact that you can also shops there and have fun. Otherwise, people these days prefer to shop online to save their time to spend it with other espect of their life. However, going to malls when everythings is under one roof, there is no need to go out in the streets and stuffed in the traffic to buy your suppliments. In conclusion, the shopping mall meaning by their shops not the amusment place. we should go outdoor and spend our spair time to enjoying with family and friends.
Some
people
believe that the reason of going to the shopping centers in the future,
wil
be
just
for fun and the aspect of marketing will disappear.
Alot
of
big
shops
made in
big
towns in all over the world and when
everythings
that everyone needs are there, with lots of stores in
diffrent
range and
different
size such as clothes, cosmetics, health and beauty products with food courts and
intertainment
tools, and they have not to go far-away for
purchase
it’s satisfying.

But
, my view is that as much as a grand market offers you fun activities, there are
plenty
of things that can’t be there like clubs, zoo,
exebitions
,
amusment
parks.

However
, shopping malls is becoming more popular due to this fact that you can
also
shops
there and have fun.

Otherwise
,
people
these days prefer to
shop
online to save their time to spend it with other
espect
of their life.

However
, going to malls when
everythings
is under one roof, there is no need to go out in the streets and stuffed in the traffic to
buy
your
suppliments
.

In conclusion
, the shopping mall meaning by their
shops
not the
amusment
place.
we
should go outdoor and spend
our spair
time to enjoying with family and friends.
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IELTS essay Is shopping mall gain all the intention of people or not in the future

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
211 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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