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study problem is there here every where

study problem is there here every where AJ5GL
There is no doubt that there is a numerous pressure on students academically these days. A plethora of parents and teachers believe that non-academic subjects should be removed from the curriculum of children so that they can concentrate on their studies. In this essay, I would argue that why it is necessary to remove non-academic activities from the syllabus for students performing well in academics. Whereas, why include non-academic activities for students which are not good in their studies. Or let them decide what is best for them. Many students, parents, teachers think that removing non-academic subjects will help students to perform well in their academics. However, I think that it is partially true, as students who are good in academics will get benefit from this change as they will get more time to concentrate on their subjects like maths, science, business studies, languages and others. And they do not have to focus on other activities like drama, acting, music, sports. Whereas, students who are not interested in academics or weak in academics will get affected by this decision. As all children do not want to be an engineer, a doctor, mathematicians. Rather some might want to be an athlete, musician, dancer, singer. So, for these students, a non-academic syllabus should not be removed from the syllabus as it will help them achieve their goals. However, there is another section of people that thinks that both academics and non-academic syllabus should be included in the curriculum. For example, if a student is good at sports and academics then he or she would like to have both academics and non-academic in syllabus. Here I would like to conclude this by saying that, teachers and parents should see whether the student is good academically or non-academically and on that basis, non-academic activity should be removed or included in their curriculum.
There is no doubt that there is a numerous pressure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
academically
these days. A plethora of parents and teachers believe that non-academic subjects should
be removed
from the curriculum of children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can concentrate on their studies. In this essay, I would argue that why it is necessary to remove non-academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
syllabus
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
performing well in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
. Whereas, why include non-academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
which are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
in their studies.

Or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them decide what is best for them.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, parents, teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that removing non-academic subjects will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to perform well in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
partially
true, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefit from this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
as they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more time to concentrate on their subjects like
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
, science, business studies, languages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
. And they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
focus on other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like drama, acting, music, sports.

Whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are not interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
or weak in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by this decision. As all children do not want to be an engineer, a doctor, mathematicians.
Rather
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
might want to be an athlete, musician, dancer, singer.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, a non-academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
syllabus
should not
be removed
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
syllabus
as it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them achieve their goals.

However
, there is another section of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
and non-academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
syllabus
should
be included
in the curriculum.
For example
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
at sports and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
then he or she would like to have both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
and non-academic in syllabus.

Here I would like
to conclude
this by saying that, teachers and parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
academically
or non-
academically
and on that basis, non-academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
should
be removed
or included in their curriculum.
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IELTS essay study problem is there here every where

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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