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Studies have shown that unemployment has a bad effect on both the physical and mental health of people without a job. For this reason, governments need to create jobs for everyone who wants one. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Studies have shown that unemployment has a bad effect on both the physical and mental health of people without a job. For this reason, governments need to create jobs for everyone who wants one. with this opinion? 3g2rm
Indubitably, unemployment is at its peak in some of the nations. It is often argued that government is responsible for creating job opportunities for the one who need because unemployment has a deterimental effect on human body and mind. However, I fully agree with the given notion. Apparently, having a job holds a wide range of constructive benefits. The first and foremost, employment not only helps in being financially strong, but also is a key factor contributing towards physically fit. To corroborate, according to BBC research, there has been exponential rise in the well being of people in US when more people were working rather than sitting at homes. Secondly unlike the bygone days, there is a cut-throat competition for the jobs and everyone is not able to get their desired job easily. Thereby, it is responsibility of the government to create job opportunities for every one. Furthermore, Will it help in curbing criminal activities? Certainly, Yes. When most of the people will be employed then will not have much spare time to plan evil activities and thus will lead to less crime rate. To vindicate, according to Forbes, in Japan the most of the jails are being closed in past two years owing to 0. 2% crime rate in there. In addition to this, citizens are the responsibility of the government and henceforth they should be given best of the world in terms of education, employment and living arrangements. To recapitulate, although government has many tasks to do yet they should ensure that job opportunities should be created for physical and mental well being of people. Needless, to state having job holds paramount significance.
Indubitably
, unemployment is at its peak in
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
nations. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is responsible for creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities for the one who need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
unemployment has a
Possible spelling mistake found.
deterimental
effect on human body and mind.
However
, I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
notion.

Apparently
, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
holds a wide range of constructive benefits. The
first
and foremost, employment not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in being
financially
strong,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
is a key factor contributing towards
physically
fit. To corroborate, according to BBC research, there has been exponential rise in the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in US when more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were working
rather
than sitting at homes.
Secondly
unlike the bygone days, there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
-throat competition for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and everyone is not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
easily
. Thereby, it is responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities for every one.

Furthermore
, Will it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in curbing criminal activities?
Certainly
, Yes. When most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be employed
then will not have much spare time to plan evil activities and
thus
will lead to less crime rate. To vindicate, according to Forbes, in Japan the most of the jails are
being closed
in past two years owing to 0. 2% crime rate in there.
In addition
to this, citizens are the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and henceforth they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
best of the world in terms of education, employment and living arrangements.

To recapitulate, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tasks to do
yet
they should ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities should
be created
for physical and mental
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Needless, to state having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
holds paramount significance.

IELTS essay Studies have shown that unemployment has a bad effect on both the physical and mental health of people without a job. For this reason, governments need to create jobs for everyone who wants one. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Studies have shown that unemployment has a bad effect on both the physical and mental health of people without a job. For this reason, governments need to create jobs for everyone who wants one. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.