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Students who keep their rooms neat and organized are more successful than those who do not.

Students who keep their rooms neat and organized are more successful than those who do not. ok5Db
There are various factors that affect students’ education level, which some of which negatively influence them, and the other ones assist them in becoming successful persons. One of these factors is having neat rooms. People around us are divided into two groups. The first one thinks that ordered rooms significantly have a positive effect on their studying, while the second one takes the opposite view. Both of these two contradictory ideas have some conceivable reasons. However, from my point of view, I do believe that this factor exerts an adverse influence on students because of two compelling reasons that will be explained in the following paragraphs. The first and foremost reason that I disagree with retaining rooms orderly by students is that it wastes their efficient time. Since their success in their lessons is directly related to the amount of sufficient devoted time to their studying, whatever diverts their attention from it, considered as an undesirable issue. If students constantly want to keep their room well-organized, they will have to spend a great deal of time on it, which leads to losing their efficient time for their studying and learning their lessons effectively. For instance, when I was in high school, I always was obliged to retain my room organized since she thought that this type of room vitally affected my studying. However, it did not happen since I ought to put much time into this task, and I was left with almost no time for studying my lessons and obtaining satisfying results in my class time and exams. The final reason is that it causes a psychological disorder. If keeping room organized became an essential matter for students, they would suffer from obsessive compulsory disorder. In other words, since most of the time they are worried about having a disorganized room and its unfavorable influence on their studying, they repeatedly observe their rooms during their studying. If their rooms were not neat enough, they were under considerable stress and not paying enough attention to their lessons. As a result, they are not able to efficiently study their courses and succeed in them. As an example, due to its enormous adverse effect on students, schools’ psychologist always suggest parent not to force their children into continuously organizing their room. Since not only does not it have favorable effects on their studying, but also compelling them to do this work negatively affects them. That is why I welcome the idea of the insignificance of this option on students’ success. In conclusion, based on the reasons mentioned above, I am firmly in agreement that having a well-organized room does not relate to becoming successful. Because not only does this task waste their time that should be devoted to their studying, but also it causes mental disorder.
There are various factors that affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
education level, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of which
negatively
influence them, and the other ones assist them in becoming successful persons. One of these factors is having neat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rooms
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
around us
are divided
into two groups. The
first
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that ordered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rooms
significantly
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
, while the second one takes the opposite view. Both of these two contradictory
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conceivable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
However
, from my point of view, I do believe that this factor exerts an adverse influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two compelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
that will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in the following paragraphs.

The
first
and foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that I disagree with retaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rooms
orderly by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is that it wastes their efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Since their success in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
is
directly
related to the amount of sufficient devoted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
, whatever diverts their attention from it, considered as an undesirable issue. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
constantly
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
well-organized, they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend a great deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on it, which leads to losing their efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
and learning their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
effectively
.
For instance
, when I was in high school, I always
was obliged
to retain my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
organized since she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
vitally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
.
However
, it did not happen since I ought to put much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
into this task, and I was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with almost no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
and obtaining satisfying results in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and exams.

The final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that it causes a psychological disorder. If keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
organized became an essential matter for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, they would suffer from obsessive compulsory disorder.
In other words
, since most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they
are worried
about having a disorganized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
and its unfavorable influence on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
, they
repeatedly
observe their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rooms
during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
. If their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rooms
were not neat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, they were under considerable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and not paying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
attention to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
.
As a result
, they are not able to
efficiently
study their courses and succeed in them. As an example, due to its enormous adverse effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, schools’ psychologist always suggest parent not to force their children into
continuously
organizing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
. Since not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does not it
Did you mean "has"?
have
favorable effects on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
compelling them to do this work
negatively
affects them.
That is
why I welcome the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of the insignificance of this option on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
success.

In conclusion
, based on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
mentioned above, I am
firmly
in agreement that having a well-organized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
does not relate to becoming successful.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does this task waste their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that should
be devoted
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it causes mental disorder.
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IELTS essay Students who keep their rooms neat and organized are more successful than those who do not.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
464 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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