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Some people say that working from home is not effective. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Some people say that working from home is not effective. m380O
It is true that the digital revolution has had profound affects on important aspects of our lives. While advances in technology have led some people to argue that people no longer need to go to the workplaces, but should instead work at home. I completely disagree with such a viewpoint. Working at home consumes lots of advantages. Firstly, people can keep time-saving, so they do not need to go to the office in daily life. Some people have to work for long distances which consumes a large amount of time commuting back and forth to work, even waste time sitting in the traffic jam. Secondly, saving financial from the fuel of vehicles. They can cook every dishes that they want, not to buy street food and what if affect to our health because of dirty materials. Next, working at home, people have no supervision or restrictions. They have the freedom to choose that when and where they want to work inside their houses or coffee stores, just they can feel that place would help their broad-minded. Finally, people will be able to spend extra time with their families and friends. This way can build a lasting relationship tightly such as hanging out or eating together. Science and technology have developed for centuries. Now in the world of 4. 0, which now to sit down under COVID-19 epidemic, even assuming that people are computer-literate and have access to the internet at home, they can learn how to use technological items very quickly and even though they don’t know how to use it, search on the Google and solved. People improve their life because of convenience. At home, they can free to do anything they want, provide us with flexibility and comfortable while working. Surroundings are their home environment, they do not need to worry about being disciplined like companies or schools. All they need to do is turn on their laptops, smartphones, computer and if necessary to do the tasks, they will work at any time they want to. I strongly believe that working from home is good for us to avoid any problems of the outside world. Technology can have positive effects on our lives, for our society, makes the better condition to respect human life.
It is true that the digital revolution has had profound affects on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. While advances in technology have led
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
no longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to go to the workplaces,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
should
instead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at home. I completely disagree with such a viewpoint.

Working at home consumes lots of advantages.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
time-saving,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to go to the office in daily life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for long distances which consumes a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Consider using "commuting".
commuting back and forth
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, even waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
sitting in the traffic jam.
Secondly
, saving financial from the fuel of vehicles. They can cook every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "dish"?
dishes
that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
, not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
street food and what if affect to our health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of dirty materials.
Next
, working at home,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no supervision or restrictions. They have the freedom to choose that when and where they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
inside their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
or coffee stores,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
they can feel that place would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their broad-minded.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be able to spend extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their families and friends. This way can build a lasting relationship
tightly
such as hanging out or eating together.

Science and technology have developed for centuries.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
in the world of 4. 0, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
to sit down under COVID-19 epidemic, even assuming that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are computer-literate and have access to the internet at home, they can learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technological items
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
quickly
and
even though
they don’t know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it, search on the Google and solved.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of convenience. At home, they can free to do anything they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
, provide us with flexibility and comfortable while working. Surroundings are their home environment, they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to worry about
being disciplined
like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or schools. All they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to do is turn on their laptops, smartphones, computer and if necessary to do the tasks, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to.

I
strongly
believe that working from home is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for us to avoid any problems of the outside world. Technology can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, for our society,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the better condition to respect human life.
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IELTS essay Some people say that working from home is not effective.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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