Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

students should pay for their studies?

students should pay for their studies? jb71N
Nowadays most of students opt to go to university and study a higher education, however it is well known that most of them could not afford the education until this point. Which begs the next question: how could students pay for their own studies if they do not have enough money? In the first place, we need to look carefully at the history about education and how it works. No long time ago, studying at the university was a luxury system where the only ones that could enter in and learn from the masters were nobility, priests and kings. Consequently, the rest of the citizens had a seriously lack of knowledge and they just followed those with knowledge blindly. Thankfully, this situation changed and now we can say that most of the population in developed countries have their own critical thinking and are able to lead their lives. For this reason, this situation would not be possible if the studies were not free for all of us due to there are people with amazing skills that cannot pay the amount of money required to study. Another essential point is that the view against students who are likely to earn higher than the rest of the population makes no sense at all. These future professionals will contribute for their own country and help to develop it. Apart from that, if we watch out at the trends over the time carefully, we can see that many people opt to go abroad in a country which provides free higher education and then probably they would work there too. In other words, countries spend a huge amount of money in basic formation (colleges and high schools), then they loss most of these professionals in another country because of they had to study abroad just for no give free higher education. All in all, I believe that the state should give a free education, as it benefits us in every way.
Nowadays
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the students") or simply say "most students".
most of students
opt to go to university and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
however
it is well known that most of them could not afford the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
until this point. Which begs the
next
question: how could students pay for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
if they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money?

In the
first
place, we need to look
carefully
at the history about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and how it works. No long time ago, studying at the university was a luxury system where the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ones that could enter in and learn from the masters were nobility, priests and kings.
Consequently
, the rest of the citizens had a
You used an adverb ('seriously') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('lack') instead of another adjective.
seriously lack
of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
knowledge and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
followed those with knowledge
blindly
.
Thankfully
, this situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we can say that most of the population in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
critical thinking and are able to lead their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For this reason
, this situation would not be possible if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
were not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
for all of us due to there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with amazing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that cannot pay the amount of money required to study.

Another essential point is that the view against students who are likely to earn higher than the rest of the population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
no sense at all. These future professionals will contribute for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to develop it. Apart from that, if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
out at the trends over the time
carefully
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opt to go abroad in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and then
probably
they would work there too.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
spend a huge amount of money in basic formation (colleges and high schools), then they
Did you mean "lost" (past tense of the verb 'lose')?
loss
most of these professionals in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
Probable usage error. Use "because they" instead.
because of they
had to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
abroad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for no give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
higher education.

All in all, I believe that the state should give a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, as it benefits us in every way.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay students should pay for their studies?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts