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Most young people do not like to live in families where their parents are too difficult about everything. In your opinion, is this view of theirs right or wrong?

Most young people do not like to live in families where their parents are too difficult about everything. In your opinion, is this view of theirs right or wrong? 1oWyX
Family is always the place where we are born and grow, we are cared for and raised by our parents, but nowadays, most young people do not like to live in families where their parents are too difficult about everything. I guess ưhen children start to grow up they want to be free and explore many things but their parents are too difficult, they think their child can't do it or they worry that their child will get hurt or simply because their children have to do what they want to be right or a disagreement about life because parents and children are two different generations. When having such parents, young people often feel very uncomfortable and disagree and it is because of the difficult that they want to do it even more. In my opinion, the case of young people who do not want to live with their family is because they want to be free, no one is stopping them or telling them to do what is right, they want to experience and learn for themselves. But this case also applies only when they have their money not dependent on the family's money. When they are still with their family, I think they should listen to their parents because they want to be good to you and take care of you but they don't know how to show it gently. I think family is a place where only those who haven't really appreciated it want to leave, and those who love every moment understand that family is a place even if you go far away for work or study. You also look forward to it because that is the place that always welcomes you the most.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
is always the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where we
are born
and grow, we
are cared
for and raised by our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays, most young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
where their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are too difficult about everything. I guess
Possible spelling mistake found.
ưhen
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to grow up they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be free and explore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are too difficult, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
their child can't do
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it or
they worry that their child will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hurt or
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be right or a disagreement about life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and children are two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
generations. When having such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
uncomfortable and disagree and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the difficult that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to do it even more. In my opinion, the case of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be free, no one is stopping them or telling them to do what is right, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to experience and learn for themselves.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this case
also
applies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when they have their money not dependent on the family's money. When they are
still
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they should listen to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to you and take care of you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they don't know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
it
gently
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those who haven't
really
appreciated it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
, and those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
every moment understand that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
even if you go far away for work or study. You
also
look forward to it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that is
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
that always welcomes you the most.
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IELTS essay Most young people do not like to live in families where their parents are too difficult about everything. In your opinion, is this view of theirs right or wrong?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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