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Some people think that student benefits from going to private secondary schools. Others, however, feel that private schools can have a negative effect on society as a whole. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion. v.2

Importance of education in present era has been the highest ever in the history. A certain group of society say that pupils gain more knowledge from studying in private secondary schools, whereas others deem that learning from private schools might be bad impact on whole society. This essay shall delve both the perspectives and I will give my opinion in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, it is a well known fact that secondary education is crucial because in most cases career is based on secondary school subjects. One of the major merit is that most of the private schools offer smaller classrooms so the children can receive more individual attention from teachers. Moreover, this type of schools offers better academic education and extra curricular programs. Due to the fact that, doing extra activities students minds might be sharp and creative. In addition to this, teachers get a chance to know students abilities and weak points by which they can improve their mistakes. Moving further, students can adopt more knowledge from going to private schools because classes are divided into sections, it has also less crowd in the classrooms. Furthermore, pupils in private schools learn more productive elements such as discipline and punctuality rather than students in government secondary schools. What is more, learners get every kind of facility in the private schools, however in government schools the facilities are not good. For an instance, a recent survey conducted by Australian University in 2018, 75% students were passed in their academic results studying in private schools as compared to government secondary schools. Hence, staff of private schools are always keep updating the intellectual skills. On the other hand, certain people think that studying in private schools has also some drawbacks that effect on the society. Primarily, the tuition fees of the schools is very expensive, only wealthy students and rich parents can afford the private institutions. Secondly, owing to branded items like school bags and shoes they tend to compare with others as a result in negligence in their studies. Lastly, the strict rules and extra subjects add the burden to the students. For example, it is mandatory of learning languages like Punjabi and Sanskrit at private schools. Therefore, children of poor backgrounds find it very difficult to compete with them, so it creates an imbalance in society. In abridgement, after analysing both sides of arguments it can be concluded that both arguments have their own qualities. If children going to private schools they can receive quality of education, yet private schools should minimise their prices so all people in the society can teach their children I deem.
Importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in present era has been the highest ever in the history. A certain group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
say that pupils gain more knowledge from studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, whereas others deem that learning from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. This essay shall delve both the perspectives and I will give my opinion in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, it is a well known fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is crucial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in most cases
career
is based
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
subjects. One of the major merit is that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
offer smaller
Use a comma before ‘so’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
classrooms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can receive more individual attention from teachers.
Moreover
, this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
offers better academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
programs. Due to the fact that, doing extra activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
minds might be sharp and creative.
In addition
to this, teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
abilities and weak points by which they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their mistakes. Moving
further
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can adopt more knowledge from going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
classes
are divided
into sections, it has
also
less crowd in the classrooms.
Furthermore
, pupils in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
learn more productive elements such as discipline and punctuality
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
What is more
, learners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
every kind of facility in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
however
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
the facilities are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. For an instance, a recent survey conducted by Australian University in 2018, 75%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were passed
in their academic results studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
as compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Hence
, staff of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
updating the intellectual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
On the other hand
, certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
has
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks that effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Primarily
, the tuition fees of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and rich parents can afford the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
institutions.
Secondly
, owing to branded items like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
bags and shoes they tend to compare with others
as a result
in negligence in their studies.
Lastly
, the strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and extra subjects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
the burden to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For example
, it is mandatory of learning languages like Punjabi and Sanskrit at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of poor backgrounds find it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to compete with them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it creates an imbalance in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
abridgement
, after
Possible spelling mistake. ‘analysing’ is British English.
analysing
both sides of arguments it can
be concluded
that both arguments have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
qualities. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
they can receive quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
yet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should
Possible spelling mistake. ‘minimise’ is British English.
minimise
their prices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
can teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
I deem.
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IELTS essay Some people think that students benefits from going to private secondary school. Others, feel that private secondary school can have negative effect on society as a whole. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
437 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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