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Students should choose a university major that prepares them for high-paying careers. To what extent do you agree with this statement.

Students should choose a university major that prepares them for high-paying careers. e69V
For many of us, a large portion of our days is spent at work; in fact, the average person will spend one-third of his lifetime at work. It's safe to say our job can make a significant impact on our quality of life. Consequently, finalizing a major in university becomes the make or break decision, which sets the course of remaining life. Some believe that scholars should go for those areas of expertise that guarantee financial security. In contrast, others, including me, champion the thought that students should be given full freedom while selecting their career path without any pressure or prejudice. We live in a materialistic society where a man's worth is usually determined by the size of his house, the brand of his car, the travel posts on his Instagram, and his acquisition in general. From the moment we are born or perhaps even before it, we are trained not only to survive but lead the rat race. Many led by the mind go for jobs that can fulfill their materialistic temperament. There is nothing wrong with aiming for all the comforts and luxuries of life, provided the decision is free-willed and not pressurized. But learners should be mindful that money alone cannot give them eternal joy and happiness. Others, led by heart, go for their passion as a vocation to lead a more meaningful life. Before making the life-changing decision, one should pause and ponder about the life one aspires with the life one genuinely seeks to live. Though our mind will suggest choosing the 'sensible' option, we should pursue our passion. At times, life may get more challenging than working for a large corporation with a six-digit pay package. But, when we do what we love, we are ready to face any difficulties to make it work. Following our calling, we connect to ourselves at a deeper level, thereby gaining the courage to question the mad rush, thus helping to select the appropriate majors at university. In conclusion, we are not merely here to live a robotic life, collecting worldly possessions. Instead, we should aim to live a more contented and inspired life by being true to our authentic selves.
For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us, a large portion of our days
is spent
at work; in fact, the average person will spend one-third of his lifetime at work. It's safe to say our job can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a significant impact on our quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Consequently
, finalizing a major in university becomes the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
or break decision, which sets the course of remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that scholars should go for those areas of expertise that guarantee financial security.
In contrast
, others, including me, champion the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that students should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
full freedom while selecting their career path without any pressure or prejudice.

We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a materialistic society where a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
's worth is
usually
determined by the size of his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, the brand of his car, the travel posts on his Instagram, and his acquisition
in general
. From the moment we
are born
or perhaps even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it, we
are trained
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to survive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
lead the rat race.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
led by the mind go for jobs that can fulfill their materialistic temperament. There is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
with aiming for all the comforts and luxuries of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, provided the decision is free-willed and not pressurized.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
learners should be mindful that money alone cannot give them eternal joy and happiness.

Others, led by heart, go for their passion as a vocation to lead a more meaningful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
making the life-changing decision, one should pause and ponder about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
one aspires with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
one
genuinely
seeks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
. Though our mind will suggest choosing the 'sensible' option, we should pursue our passion. At times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more challenging than working for a large corporation with a six-digit pay package.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, when we do what we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, we are ready to face any difficulties to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it work. Following our calling, we connect to ourselves at a deeper level, thereby gaining the courage to question the mad rush,
thus
helping to select the appropriate majors at university.

In conclusion
, we are not
merely
here to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a robotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, collecting worldly possessions.
Instead
, we should aim to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a more contented and inspired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by being true to our authentic selves.
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IELTS essay Students should choose a university major that prepares them for high-paying careers.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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