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Students should accept equal number of men and women

Students should accept equal number of men and women 3YqbX
I don’t think this is the good idea. In my opinion, Universities shouldn’t accept the students equally. On the other hand, Universities should see the students’ ability and their skills. Maybe somebody says, the female students have difficult situation for learning or achieving the honors and awards. In some situation I agree that but accept equal number of male and female in every subject is like to deleting the problems. You can see in Iran, some of the subjects have equal number of the male and female like architecture and computer engineering. However, in some subjects like mechanical engineering and civil engineering the males are most than the females and, in some subjects, the females are more the males. But what can we do to solve the problem? To be honest, we can’t find the answer in universities. We should search the answer in the schools. One thing we should do is preparing the same situation for the women as men to educating in schools or in the offices we must pay to the women as much as the men for the same job and …. These are the real solutions of problems, not accepting equal men and women for the subjects. You know the discrimination between men and women are so much in the third world countries but in the developed countries, the discrimination isn’t so much. For the conclusion, I can say this sort of laws for removing discrimination and preparing the same opportunity for men and women aren’t solve these problems and we can remove another discrimination to solve these problems.
I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. In my opinion, Universities shouldn’t accept the students
equally
.
On the other hand
, Universities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the students’ ability and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Maybe somebody says, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
students have difficult situation for learning or achieving the honors and awards. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situation I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
accept equal number of male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is like to deleting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in Iran,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
have equal number of the male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
like architecture and computer engineering.
However
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like mechanical engineering and civil engineering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
are
Use "more" to make a comparison with this adjective.
most
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
and, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
are more the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
what can we do to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
? To be honest, we can’t find the answer in universities. We should search the answer in the schools. One thing we should do is preparing the same situation for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
to educating in schools or in the offices we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
as much as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
for the same job and …. These are the real solutions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, not accepting equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
for the subjects.

You know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discrimination
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much in the third world countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discrimination
isn’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much.

For the conclusion, I can say this sort of laws for removing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discrimination
and preparing the same opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
aren’t solve these
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
problems and
we can remove another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discrimination
to solve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
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IELTS essay Students should accept equal number of men and women

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
264 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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