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Students perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished. To what extent do agree or disagree? Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.4

Students perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished. v. 4
Studying pedagogy, I comprehend that there are plenty of factors that may affect the performance of students, one of which is how they are treated. Some believe that punishment is effective, while the other think that students' results are better when being rewarded. As far as I am concerned, rewarding has more positive influences on the improvement of a pupil's academic work, and I will show you why. Those who think that punishment improves students' grades may argue that the fear of getting punished would force them to study. For example, a student might want to spend his time playing or hanging out with his peers rather than completing his homework, but if he knows that he would be punished if he did not complete the assignment, he is more likely to give priority to his homework than any other activities. As a result of this fear, youngsters would put more effort on their studies and consequently their results would improve. On the other hand, rewarding influences students in a much more positive way. Recognizing children’s academic achievements by awarding them medals, certificates, and trophies make them feel confident and proud of themselves, which keeps them motivated to perform well consistently. This sense of happiness and fulfilment motivates them to work hard without having their teachers or parents pushing them. For instance, a recent study published in the Daily Mail suggested that 90% of the top positions in the schools in the UK were acquired by self-motivated students. In conclusion, while punishment seems to be a good method, it cannot guarantee the improvement in academic performances. Rewarding is more effective, especially in the long term, and it is also the key to a happier school life.
Studying pedagogy, I comprehend that there are
plenty
of factors that may affect the performance of students, one of which is how they
are treated
.
Some
believe that punishment is effective, while the other
think
that students' results are better when
being rewarded
. As far as I
am concerned
, rewarding has more
positive
influences on the improvement of a pupil's academic work, and I will
show
you why.

Those who
think
that punishment
improves
students' grades may argue that the fear of getting punished would force them to study.
For example
, a student might want to spend his time playing or hanging out with his peers
rather
than completing his homework,
but
if he knows that he would
be punished
if he did not complete the assignment, he is more likely to give priority to his homework than any other activities.
As a result
of this fear, youngsters would put more effort on their studies and
consequently
their results would
improve
.

On the other hand
, rewarding influences students in a much more
positive
way. Recognizing children’s academic achievements by awarding them medals, certificates, and trophies
make
them feel confident and proud of themselves, which
keeps
them motivated to perform well
consistently
. This sense of happiness and
fulfilment
motivates them to work
hard
without having their teachers or parents pushing them.
For instance
, a recent study published in the Daily Mail suggested that 90% of the top positions in the schools in the UK
were acquired
by self-motivated students.

In conclusion
, while punishment seems to be a
good
method, it cannot guarantee the improvement in academic performances. Rewarding is more effective,
especially
in the long term, and it is
also
the key to a happier school life.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Students perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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