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Students of different age group should be put in same class

Students of different age group should be put in same class 75nL2
From attending kindergarten to graduating from university, millions of students spend a great amount of time for their education at educational institutions every year. Some of us hold the opinion that students should study not only with their peers, but also with younger and older students in one class. While there are certain drawbacks in such change, I believe that it has more positive impacts on students. Firstly, if students attend classes in which they want to become more excellent or behind without any grade-segregation, it will be a learning freedom for students and the release of receiving them as individuals who have different abilities, talents, and learning speeds. There are children who have a natural ability at solving mathematics problems or playing musical instruments, but struggle with other areas. Likewise, It is possible that a sixth grader is equal with a twelfth grader at solving physics problems. In this context it is beneficial for the sixth grader to study with twelfth graders as he or she can thrive more with them. Therefore, it may be feasible that in the future, there are no seventh or ninth graders, but seventh grade mathematics course or tenth grade biology course in which any age groups of students are eligible to attend. Secondly, by learning with different-aged others children can become life-long learners who don’t limit their learning by their date of birth or age. We come up with adults aged between just 35 to 40 saying it has become late for us to studying university. Also, It is a common tendency in society that learning from teenagers is shameful and teaching adults as a teenager is for genius. I assume that those are results of age-segregation at school. However, with the help of open to everyone classes’ organization in their early life, children can become life-long learners who, if necessary, learn with 9th graders even aged 40. All things considered, studying with different-aged students in one class can have a number of benefits to students such as freedom to learn deeply or relearn any classes and preparing themselves as a life-long learners.
From attending kindergarten to graduating from university, millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
spend a great amount of time for their education at educational institutions every year.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of us hold the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should study not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with their peers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
with younger and older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. While there are certain drawbacks in such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, I believe that it has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on students.

Firstly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
in which they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more excellent or behind without any grade-segregation, it will be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
freedom for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and the release of receiving them as individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
abilities, talents, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
speeds. There are children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have a natural ability at solving mathematics problems or playing musical instruments,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
struggle with other areas.
Likewise
, It is possible that a sixth grader is equal with a twelfth grader at solving physics problems. In this context it is beneficial for the sixth grader to study with twelfth graders as he or she can thrive more with them.
Therefore
, it may be feasible that in the future, there are no seventh or ninth graders,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
seventh grade mathematics course or tenth grade biology course in which any age groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are eligible to attend.

Secondly
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
-aged others children can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
life-long learners
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
don’t limit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
by their date of birth or age. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with adults aged between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
35 to 40 saying it has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
late for us to studying university.
Also
, It is a common tendency in society that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
is shameful and teaching adults as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
is for genius. I assume that those are results of age-segregation at school.
However
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of open to everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes’
organization in their early life, children can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
life-long learners
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
, if necessary, learn with 9th graders even aged 40.

All things considered, studying with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
-aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
can have a number of benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
such as freedom to learn
deeply
or relearn any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and preparing themselves as a life-long learners.
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IELTS essay Students of different age group should be put in same class

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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