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Some peoples say that interaction between people have changed in the modern society, due to technology. What is your opinion on it wheather technology has caused a positive or negative development.

Some peoples say that interaction between people have changed in the modern society, due to technology. What is your opinion on it wheather technology has caused a positive or negative development. ENnwQ
We are in a century in which everything is technology driven. In a Society, where innovations are given priorities inventions of new technologies cannot be stopped. People have started to look for a comfort and easier way of living life. Which inturn resulted in people ruled by technologies. Coming to the point, even interaction between people have changed a lot. Nowadays. Technology has made life smoother, in which we never know our parents mobile number. As we have our mobile phone to save it, which became easier. We have lot of friends in facebook whom we never met once. In reality, we have no one to share our feelings or lie upon. We could post happy thoughts in social networks, but really many are sad inside with lonely thoughts. Direct conversation between people have reduced, instead we use messenger tools to communicate our thoughts. Those days our parents had quite less friends, but their friendship lasted for long. Now, we have lot of acquaintance or peoples to chat with, but no true friend for long. We have closed our life to a small box created by technology and seperated ourselves from our family and society. Concluding my point, technology was built for a positive development. But it's with us how to use those technology. It depends on us, wheather it has resulted a positive or negative development. For me its positive development, whereas i could have the world in my pocket, due to this technology.
We are in a century in which everything is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
driven. In a Society, where innovations are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
priorities inventions of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to look for a comfort and easier way of living life.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
Possible spelling mistake found.
inturn
resulted in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ruled by technologies.

Coming to the point, even interaction between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
a lot. Nowadays.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has made life smoother, in which we never know our parents mobile number. As we have our mobile phone to save it, which became easier. We have
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
friends
The usual collocation for "facebook" is "on". Did you mean "on facebook"?
in facebook
whom we never met once. In reality, we have no one to share our feelings or lie upon. We could post happy thoughts in social networks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are sad inside with lonely thoughts. Direct conversation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
,
instead
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
messenger tools to communicate our thoughts.

Those days our parents had quite
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun friends is countable.
less
friends,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their friendship lasted for long.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, we have
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
acquaintance or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
to chat with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no true friend for long. We have closed our life to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
box created by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
seperated
ourselves from our family and society.

Concluding my point,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
was built
for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it's with us how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. It depends on us,
Possible spelling mistake found.
wheather
it has resulted a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development. For me its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development, whereas
Did you mean "I"?
i
could have the world in my pocket, due to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
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IELTS essay Some peoples say that interaction between people have changed in the modern society, due to technology. What is your opinion on it wheather technology has caused a positive or negative development.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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