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Sending Criminals to the person is not the out way of dealing with them. Education and job training are better.way to help them what are your views?Give reason with your knowledge

Sending Criminals to the person is not the out way of dealing with them. Education and job training are better. way to help them what are your views? Give reason with your knowledge o6QDV
To begin with, a person does not become criminal by birth or willingly it is the circumstances that force them to become criminals. first and foremost reason for this could be poverty in the country. Most of the person who illiterate and poor and are not able to get job in any field that is why they choose wrong path to earn money to live there life. Despite giving them punishment and arresting them the government should educate them which will help them to live their life properly therefore it will also crime rate in the society. Furthermore, sending the law breakers to prisions is a temporary solution to stop crime because they are not gonna learn anything from it. When they will come back after completing their punishment it is not sure that they will not do it again but if they will be taught moral values they will keep it in mind for the life. To conclude, i would like to state that both the above points are relevant and valid the only way to stop the culprits is by education.
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, a person does not become criminal by birth or
willingly
it is the circumstances that force them to become criminals.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
first
and foremost reason for this could be poverty in the country. Most of the person
A noun should not follow 'who'. Try changing to a verb or maybe to "who is a illiterate".
who illiterate
and poor and are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
job in any field
that is
why they choose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path to earn money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there life. Despite giving them punishment and arresting them the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should educate them which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their life
properly
therefore
it will
also
crime rate in the society.
Furthermore
, sending the law breakers to
Possible spelling mistake found.
prisions
is a temporary solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not
The word 'gonna' is informal. Consider an alternative.
gonna
learn anything from it. When they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back after completing their punishment it is not sure that they will not do it again
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if they will
be taught
moral values they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it in mind for the life.
To conclude
,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to state that both the above points are relevant and valid the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the culprits is by education.
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IELTS essay Sending Criminals to the person is not the out way of dealing with them. Education and job training are better. way to help them what are your views? Give reason with your knowledge

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
183 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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