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education is vital for children is some society

education is vital for children is some society mbprN
Educated people has a crucial role in the development of the country. In today’s era, a group of society thinks that education is very important so government should take an action and implant that all children from 5 to 15 years should join schools. This essay will argue that it is important that children should get a proper education. A number of people states that education is not so important for kids as they think that sports is a better option for their kids, which will save their money, therefore the money saved by the parents will be used by children when they grow old. There was a study by Stanford University that most of the millionaires all over the world they have not attended their schools. Although, majority of people believes that children should be educated under the government guidelines. Children are the future of the world if they will study they will be the ones who will get jobs and will pay taxes to government so that they can help in boosting the economy of the country. Indeed in the UK a law was passed by the government and the Queen of the UK that all the children will be getting free food and free education till they complete their high school, afterwards, when they take admission in the university they will get scholarships rather than the international children. Therefore, the USA states that people of the UK pays more tax combing 40 countries and most the Billionaires are from the UK. This essay argued that why education is vital for the children how they can help their society and country by getting jobs and paying taxes.
Educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
a crucial role in the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s era, a group of society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take an action and implant that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from 5 to 15 years should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
schools. This essay will argue that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a proper education.

A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
states that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for kids as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that sports is a better option for their kids, which will save their money,
therefore
the money saved by the parents will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when they grow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. There was a study by Stanford University that most of the millionaires all over the world they have not attended their schools.

“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be educated
under the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
guidelines.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are the future of the world if they will study they will be the ones who will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
jobs and will pay taxes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in boosting the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Indeed
in the UK a law
was passed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and the Queen of the UK that all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be getting free food and free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
till they complete their high school, afterwards, when they take admission in the university they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
scholarships
rather
than the international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Therefore
, the USA states that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the UK pays more tax combing 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and most the Billionaires are from the UK.

This essay argued that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is vital for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their society and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
by getting jobs and paying taxes.
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IELTS essay education is vital for children is some society

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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