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Students nowadays face greater social pressures compared to the past. Do you agree or disagree?

Students nowadays face greater social pressures compared to the past. X7QEA
Human knowledge is increasingly expanding and improving, which means that students have to absorb more and more knowledge. Due to the growing population, the level of competition is extremely large. From there, we have an overall picture like the idea above. In my opinion, I agree with the above opinion. First, students face greater academic pressure than before. The developed world as it is today means that students have to improve as well as gain a huge amount of knowledge. When sewing and crocheting began to be born, the science of human exploration began to develop people, laying a new foundation for a completely new educational program. With the addiction to science research is included as subjects in the school. For example, in feudal times, subjects consisting of poetries, songs, and drawing consisted of less than five subjects and a small amount of knowledge. Today the number is up to nine basic subjects such as literature, math, biology, chemistry, physics and more. The fact that many subjects and must balance the number of subjects inadvertently put pressure on the psychology of all students today. Second, students face competitive pressure. Not only competition for scores, but also competition for jobs. The number of unemployed people in the world is increasing day by day due to the high demand for jobs and limited jobs. Candidates must have high professional qualifications, the chances of getting a job will be higher. For example, with today's businesses, besides recruiting highly qualified employees, they also prioritize those who can use foreign languages well. The fact that today's students are more pressured than before is undeniable, not only more but also much more in the future, which may increase the pressure in life even more. Modern society does not mean that students are idled, people are always subject to an invisible pressure to try.
Human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is
increasingly
expanding and improving, which means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
absorb more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. Due to the growing population, the level of competition is
extremely
large. From there, we have an
overall
picture like the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
above. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above opinion.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
face greater academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. The developed world as it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
as well
as gain a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. When sewing and crocheting began to
be born
, the science of human exploration began to develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, laying a new foundation for a completely new educational program. With the addiction to science research
is included
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in the school.
For example
, in feudal times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
consisting of
Possible spelling mistake found.
poetries
, songs, and drawing consisted of less than five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
the number is up to nine basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as literature, math, biology, chemistry, physics and more. The fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
balance the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
inadvertently
put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
on the psychology of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
face competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
competition for scores,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
competition for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. The number of unemployed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the world is increasing day by day due to the high demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. Candidates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have high professional qualifications, the chances of getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
will be higher.
For example
, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's businesses,
besides
recruiting
highly
qualified employees, they
also
prioritize those who can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
foreign languages well.

The fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are more pressured than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
is undeniable, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
much more in the future, which may increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
in life even more. Modern society does not mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are idled
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
to an invisible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
to try.
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IELTS essay Students nowadays face greater social pressures compared to the past.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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