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Describe the Mid-Autumn Festival.

Describe the Mid-Autumn Festival. K3kGM
In Vietnam, it is characterized with unique traditional festivals. But for me the mid-autumn festival makes a deep impression. The Mid-Autumn Festival is an occasion to celebrate the moon, so the most jubilant festival activities usually take place after the sun has set. The Mid-Autumn Festival is held on the lunar calendar, which is the full moon day of August every year. This has become the children's day (Children's Day), also known as the Lunar New Year or the Lantern Festival. Mid-Autumn Festival is a festival in East Asian and Southeast Asian countries such as China, Vietnam, Japan, Korea, Taiwan, Singapore. Moreover, this day is also a national holiday in Taiwan, North Korea and South Korea. The Mid-Autumn Festival will often have many interesting activities such as making lanterns, going to procession of sister Hang or performing arts with the presence of Cuoi, lion dance. Especially the moon viewing and people often watch the moon on the night of the mid-autumn because this is the best time to see the moon. Mid-Autumn Festival is also known to commemorate the moon and remember the sister, constant, and uncle. In addition, the Mid-Autumn Festival is also a time to bring families together, to spend time together, and to give moon cakes.
In Vietnam, it
is characterized
with unique traditional
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festivals
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
for me the mid-autumn
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festival
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a deep impression. The Mid-Autumn
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Festival
is an occasion to celebrate the moon,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the most jubilant
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festival
activities
usually
take place after the sun has set. The Mid-Autumn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Festival
is held
on the lunar calendar, which is the full moon day of August every year. This has become the children's day (Children's Day),
also
known as the Lunar New Year or the Lantern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Festival
. Mid-Autumn
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Festival
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
in East Asian and Southeast Asian countries such as China, Vietnam, Japan, Korea, Taiwan, Singapore.
Moreover
, this day is
also
a national holiday in Taiwan, North Korea and South Korea. The Mid-Autumn
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Festival
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
interesting activities such as making lanterns, going to procession of sister Hang or performing arts with the presence of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cuoi
, lion dance.
Especially
the moon viewing and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the moon on the night of the mid-autumn
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because
this is the best time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the moon. Mid-Autumn
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Festival
is
also
known to commemorate the moon and remember the sister, constant, and uncle.
In addition
, the Mid-Autumn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Festival
is
also
a time to bring families together, to spend time together, and to give moon cakes.
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IELTS essay Describe the Mid-Autumn Festival.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
209 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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