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Students learn better, when they are not threatened with possible failure

Students learn better, when they are not threatened with possible failure 3LA8J
Young learners, as approaching the end of high school, usually start to feel more anxious about what path may they choose for the rest of their lives. In this scenario, grades become a major concern not only to students, but also as a way to meet the family expectations. Therefore, it is evidently that the pressure can come in a careless way. With that said, we can predict that treating the young ones as a possible failure could affect badly in the way they learn. In the first hand, people who has countless insistent under themselves, may face uncomfortable situations. When people are under pressure circumstances, they are consume by stress and anxiety feelings, which turn as an obstacle to what the ones are doing. Coming with some personal example, the after-pandemic brought for my classmates and me a challenge to relearn our school daily routine. As we are at the final year, the principal have high expectations on each of us, which end up turning into fast classes, many tests, and homework that could provide the students the best grade and qualification. However, it end up as many teenagers stressed and lost about their future. Moreover, it is notable that with the right encouragement, students are able to achieve many goals in their academic lives. First, showing to teenagers advantages of having a great school accomplishment could provide, as result, themselves going after information and study books. Because they find a purpose. Another example of mine, taking extra courses of English language was not my main purpose, the reason of doing it was only due my parent’s thoughts about its importance. In spite that, I started to notice what knowing a different way of speaking could bring as advantageous in my live. Therefore, I went after more information about the area. In conclusion, with those observations being set up, we can understand the difficulty in learner’s development when under pressure. Furthermore, encouragement, unlike a hard insistence to be academically perfect, seems a better way to provide knowledge for the young ones.
Young learners, as approaching the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of high school,
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to feel more anxious about what path may they choose for the rest of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In this scenario, grades become a major concern not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to students,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
as a way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the family expectations.
Therefore
, it is
evidently
that the pressure can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
Consider replacing "in a careless way" with the adverb for "careless"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a careless way
. With that said, we can predict that treating the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
as a possible failure could affect
badly
in the way they learn.

In the
first
hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
has
countless insistent under themselves, may face uncomfortable situations. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are under pressure circumstances, they are
Consider using a past participle here: "consumed".
consume
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and anxiety feelings, which turn as an obstacle to what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
are doing. Coming with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
personal example, the after-pandemic brought for my classmates and me a challenge to relearn our school daily routine. As we are at the final year, the principal have high expectations on each of us, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up turning into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
classes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
, and homework that could provide the students the best grade and qualification.
However
, it
Did you mean "ends"?
end
up as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and lost about their future.

Moreover
, it is notable that with the right encouragement, students are able to achieve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
goals in their academic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
First
, showing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
advantages of having a great school accomplishment could provide, as result, themselves going after information and study books.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they find a purpose. Another example of mine, taking extra courses of English language was not my main purpose, the reason of doing it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
due my parent’s thoughts about its importance. In spite that, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to notice what knowing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way of speaking could bring as advantageous in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Therefore
, I went after more information about the area.

In conclusion
, with those observations
being set
up, we can understand the difficulty in learner’s development when under pressure.
Furthermore
, encouragement, unlike a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
insistence to be
academically
perfect, seems a better way to provide knowledge for the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
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IELTS essay Students learn better, when they are not threatened with possible failure

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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