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Students are relying more and more upon technology and the internet to study. Some people see this as a benefit; others believe students are losing their ability to think for themselves. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

Students are relying more and more upon technology and the internet to study. Some people see this as a benefit; others believe students are losing their ability to think for themselves. JwxYD
Nowadays, students are depending on technology and the internet more often when studying. This essay will explore the advantages and disadvantages of students using technology and the internet when learning. Firstly, one of the benefits of using the internet is that the students do not need to memorize all the facts and information. Moreover, students have extra time to focus on other things such as solving the problem and creativity. On the other hand, they need to search for the information on the internet if they do not memorize the information. This leads to the fact that they have to depend on the internet too much which is harmful. Secondly, schools and universities have integrated technologies, such as applications, augmented reality (AR) and devices, to assist with students’ learning. This makes the learning process more interesting since the lessons become more interactive using technologies. In addition, students can also visualize the lessons more clearly. For instance, students do not need to slice a dead frog body to see what organs are in the frog. Today, they just need to open an application in the mobile device and they can see the frog's internal organs in the real world using augmented reality(AR). Although technologies are helpful in learning, the students have to look at the screen which can damage the eyes when looking for a long period of time. But, this problem can be solved by limiting the screen time. Finally, students can look up the solutions on the internet when they are stuck with a problem they cannot solve. They can learn what mistakes they made when solving the problem. However this can be helpful, students can copy the solutions from the internet without solving the problem by themselves. This can be prevented by warning the students who plagiarize the information from the internet. To conclude, technology and the internet helps the students to study comfortably and conveniently. Therefore, I believe that the benefits of students using technology and the internet outweigh the drawbacks but it has to be done with control.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are depending
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and the internet more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
when studying. This essay will explore the advantages and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and the internet when learning.

Firstly
, one of the benefits of using the internet is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to memorize all the facts and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have extra time to focus on other things such as solving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and creativity.
On the other hand
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to search for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on the internet if they do not memorize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. This leads to the fact that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
depend on the internet too much which is harmful.

Secondly
, schools and universities have integrated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
, such as applications, augmented reality (AR) and devices, to assist with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
learning. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the learning process more interesting since the lessons become more interactive using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
also
visualize the lessons more
clearly
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to slice a dead frog body to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
what organs are in the frog.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to open an application in the mobile
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
device and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the frog's internal organs in the real world using augmented reality(AR). Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are helpful in learning, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
look at the screen which can damage the eyes when looking for a long period of time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can
be solved
by limiting the screen time.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can look up the solutions on the internet when they
are stuck
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
they cannot solve. They can learn what mistakes they made when solving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
this can be helpful,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can copy the solutions from the internet without solving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
by themselves. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
by warning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who plagiarize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from the internet.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to study
comfortably
and
conveniently
.
Therefore
, I believe that the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and the internet outweigh the drawbacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be done
with control.
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IELTS essay Students are relying more and more upon technology and the internet to study. Some people see this as a benefit; others believe students are losing their ability to think for themselves.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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