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**Threads**: **The prevention of health problems is more important than the development of new treatments, the government should therefore invest more in prevention. Government funding should reflect this. Towhat extent do you agree or disagree?*

**Threads**: **The prevention of health problems is more important than the development of new treatments, the government should therefore invest more in prevention. Government funding should reflect this. Towhat extent * 0Eem3
Some people argue that more money should be spent on preventive measures than treatments, as they are of greater importance. I completely agree with this point of view. To begin with, the government should invest more funds in promoting prevention methods to help people save money on medical expenses. This is because by taking these prevention measures, people are less likely to become ill, thus saving money that would otherwise be spent on medical treatments. For example, there was a spread of COVID-19 all over the world, which made it laborious to figure out the proper medication for it and also cost a huge amount of money. As a result, it may be more difficult to preclude these diseases in the future. Secondly, if the government gives priority to people when highlighting the benefits of prevention, it can encourage people to live a good and stress-free life. For this reason, the government should make proper investments in health care education and awareness programs to raise public understanding of the need to maintain good health habits. For instance, with enough government funds for the best possible treatments to vulnerable patients, people's life expectancy will not be affected devastatingly. Consequently, they may avoid high-cost medical treatments, which could place a large financial burden on low-income people. In conclusion, the government has to make health reforms properly by investing in the prevention of epidemic health illnesses in order to have better outcomes from health deprived people as well as ensuring a healthy and energetic living for them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be spent
on preventive measures than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
, as they are of greater importance. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should invest more funds in promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevention
methods to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on medical expenses. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by taking these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevention
measures,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are less likely to become ill,
thus
saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that would
otherwise
be spent
on medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
.
For example
, there was a spread of COVID-19 all over the world, which made it laborious to figure out the proper medication for it and
also
cost a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
As a result
, it may be more difficult to preclude these diseases in the future.

Secondly
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
gives priority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
when highlighting the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevention
, it can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free life.
For this reason
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
proper investments in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care education and awareness programs to raise public understanding of the need to maintain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
habits.
For instance
, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funds for the best possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
to vulnerable patients,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life expectancy will not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
devastatingly
.
Consequently
, they may avoid high-cost medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
, which could place a large financial burden on low-income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
reforms
properly
by investing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevention
of epidemic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
illnesses in order to have better outcomes from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
deprived
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
as ensuring a healthy and energetic living for them.
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IELTS essay **Threads**: **The prevention of health problems is more important than the development of new treatments, the government should therefore invest more in prevention. Government funding should reflect this. Towhat extent *

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • **Threads**: **The prevention of health problems is more important than the development of new treatments, the government should therefore invest more in prevention. Government funding should reflect this. Towhat extent do you agree or disagree?*