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Student should have part-time job while at school.

Student should have part-time job while at school. 66ROj

From my perspective, I disagree with the author’s opinion that students should have a job while learning at school. There are several drawbacks of this tendency. First of all, students are likely to neglect their study when they have to work another job. Morover, their study result would be influnced severely. Secondly, some unexcepted accidents might occur while working that could leave many impacts on their health and their study. If students do not have enought money to pay their tuitions fee, the way forward is for the government to provide money or create more good learning condition so that poor students could take the golden chance to acquire knowlegde.

From my perspective, I disagree with the author’s opinion that You use this word too often, consider replacing it withundergraduatescholarpupiljuniorgraduate
students
 should have a job while learning at school. There are several drawbacks of this tendency. This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".First
First of all
, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withundergraduatescholarpupiljuniorgraduate
students
 are likely to neglect their study when they This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:ought to
have to
 work another job. Possible spelling mistake found.MoreoverMo rover
Morover
, their study result would be Possible spelling mistake found.influenced
influnced
severely
. Secondly
, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
Possible spelling mistake found.unexpectedexceptedunacceptedunexcited
unexcepted
 accidents might occur while working that could This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :depart
leave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
 impacts on their health and their study. If You use this word too often, consider replacing it withundergraduatescholarpupiljuniorgraduate
students
 do not have Possible spelling mistake found.enoughen ought
enought
 money to pay their Possible spelling mistake found.tuition
tuitions
 fee, the way forward is for the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :national authoritypublic authority
government
 to provide money or create more This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :beneficialproduct
good
 learning condition This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
 that poor You use this word too often, consider replacing it withundergraduatescholarpupiljuniorgraduate
students
 could take the golden chance to acquire Possible spelling mistake found.knowledge
knowlegde
. 