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student learning while working

student learning while working kx2Xd
Today’s generation are very different from past generation, they faces plenty problem in their own life and trying to persuade new technology. If we see, all generation are up to date and they are trying to life or experience the life, every year we would have seen new technology because of new generation creative but every positive side have negative side and this is true hard to accept. Year by year population have been increased and this directly affected on economy to those countries who have many population due to many of student faces economy crisis. So, many countries children are engaged in some kind of Paid work which could be support their education and also experience of their field, this is good idea because if student doing work which is related to their field which help them to learn something new and innovative mind and enhance their initiative nature in work field. These would help them as well as make a perfect stage to them in society. Many of people are support this idea because only learning don’t make you perfect, without experience or field work student can’t build confidence to develop innovative ideas. On other hand, some people totally oppose that topic because they think, if student or children pursuing education while working this could be harmful for their education because some student doing job for there financial stability or sometimes they urge to work while learning, due to these cause, student can’t perfectly focus on their study, if they paid well by certain company that time they left their education and education is the one of the most important factor in life because education is the base of successful person in society, which give you more innovative thoughts, ideas and ability to make their own path and creating different image in their life, which is indirectly beneficial for their countries or society. This conflict have been started from many years, there is not any desired solution on that conflict but in way of my prospect, student or children are able to take their decision by their own, paid work is beneficial for them while learning because from this way you could learn from two side, education build your mind skill power and work experience build your actual implement power.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s generation are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from past generation, they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "face"
faces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
problem in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and trying to persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technology. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, all generation are up to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
date and
they are trying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, every year we would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation creative
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
every
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side and this is true
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to accept.

Year by year population have
been increased
and this
directly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
on economy to those countries who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
population due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
faces economy crisis.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries children
are engaged
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of Paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which could be support their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
, this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which
is related
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to learn something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
and innovative mind and enhance their initiative nature in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
. These would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a perfect stage to them in society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are support this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learning don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you perfect, without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can’t build confidence to develop innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

On other hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
totally
oppose that topic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
or children pursuing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
while working this could be harmful for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
doing job for there financial stability or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they urge to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
while learning, due to these cause,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can’t
perfectly
focus on their study, if they paid well by certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
that time they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the base of successful person in society, which give you more innovative thoughts,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
path and creating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
image in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, which is
indirectly
beneficial for their countries or society.

This conflict have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years, there is not any desired solution on that conflict
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in way of my prospect,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
or children are able to take their decision by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is beneficial for them while learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
from this way you could learn from two side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
build your mind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
power and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
build your actual implement power.
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IELTS essay student learning while working

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
382 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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