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Stricter Traffic Punishment

Stricter Traffic Punishment Do2X6
I believe that stricter punishment for driving offenses is an effective way to force people to obey the traffic rules. However, this is not the only way to maintain roads safe. This essay will explain different methods to encourage (not force) people to obey the laws and the probable negative results of much more traffic fines upon people. As known, the rules are put into effect to ensure that people obey them, and as a result, people have a safe and independent life by respecting each other's rights. By the same aspect, traffic rules maintain the conditions ranging from safe roads to safe people. The question is who the main actors are in the traffic? The answer is simply people. Therefore, we need to focus on people at the first stage instead of punishing them. The most powerful system to shape minds is education. For this reason, educators must teach traffic lessons to people from early school years. In addition to this, driver candidates need to get tested carefully. In the end, the satisfying results will exactly be safe traffic conditions. Higher fines might have a positive deterrent effect on reducing traffic crime rates in a short period. However, the rules depending on fear would negatively affect people's lives and behaviors for a long while. They would have a short budget and be forced to pay considerable amounts to compensate for their offenses. When they could not pay their debts, they would become psychologically unhealthy individuals. The result would be unsatisfying by leading communities to protest and blame the government for strict laws, which would increase the radius of crime scenes. In conclusion, the traffic rules should encourage people to obey the authorities to ensure their safety. People are our families, as we choose neither punishing them unnecessarily nor forcing them to follow the rules.
I believe that stricter punishment for driving offenses is an effective way to force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obey
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
.
However
, this is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to maintain roads safe.

This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
methods to encourage (not force)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obey
the laws and the probable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
of much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
fines upon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

As known, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
are put
into effect to ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obey
them, and as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safe
and independent life by respecting each other's rights. By the same aspect,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
maintain the conditions ranging from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safe
roads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The question is who the main actors are in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
? The answer is
simply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
, we need to focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at the
first
stage
instead
of punishing them.

The most powerful system to shape minds is education.
For this reason
, educators
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
lessons to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from early school years.
In addition
to this, driver candidates need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
carefully
. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, the satisfying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
will exactly be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
conditions.

Higher fines might have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
deterrent effect on reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
crime rates in a short period.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
depending on fear would
negatively
affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and behaviors for a long while. They would have a short budget and
be forced
to pay considerable amounts to compensate for their offenses. When they could not pay their debts, they would become
psychologically
unhealthy individuals. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
would be unsatisfying by leading communities to protest and blame the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
for strict laws, which would increase the radius of crime scenes.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obey
the authorities to ensure their safety.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are our families, as we choose neither punishing them
unnecessarily
nor forcing them to follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
.
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IELTS essay Stricter Traffic Punishment

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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