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Strict education is necessary for children. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Strict education is necessary for children. gWn0A
Many believe that strict education is necessary for children to prepare them for higher academic discipline. I disagree that putting more pressure to student should be in a discipline. This essay illustrates why i believe that education should depend on students’ satisfaction. On the one hand, there are several reasons why education should be more comfortable for individuals. Firstly, strict discipline causes depression among students. In terms of education methods, complicated processes force children to learn an academic subject, such as science, in a short-time. Students are feeling stress and may lost their confidence. According to methods terms, stressful will effects on education quality, which might be a significant issue. Secondly, children are lack opportunities to learn useful-skills due to strict schedule. Being high quality applicants, individuals must have leadership and relevant skills to applied for higher institutions. As a consequence, strict curriculum frequently motivates student to learn academic sessions more than others useful-skills, and decreases their opportunities to acknowledge by themselves. On the other hand, strict curriculum, which establishes module core, will set standard measurement for companies and organizations. This process assist employers to consider individuals role, For example, group of applicant, including official certification and home-school diploma, has different possibility to get a job. Official diploma has more credibility than out-system applications, which make them receive more income than others too. The reason why strict education remains important in certain instance. In conclusion, strict discipline is necessary for children to conduct them to higher institutions and provides opportunities to get an offering. However, depression and stressful from it causes lacking of useful-skills which is a part of significant requirements that employers desire to see in applications.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to prepare them for higher academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
. I disagree that putting more pressure to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should be in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
. This essay illustrates why
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
satisfaction.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be more comfortable for individuals.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
causes depression among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
methods, complicated processes force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn an academic subject, such as science, in a short-time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
are feeling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and may lost their confidence. According to methods terms, stressful will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "effect"
effects
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
quality, which might be a significant issue.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are lack opportunities to learn useful-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
schedule. Being high quality applicants, individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have leadership and relevant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to applied for higher institutions.

As a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
curriculum
frequently
motivates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to learn academic sessions more than others useful-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and decreases their opportunities to acknowledge by themselves.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
curriculum, which establishes module core, will set standard measurement for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and organizations. This process assist employers to consider individuals role,
For example
, group of applicant, including official certification and home-school diploma, has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
possibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job. Official diploma has more credibility than out-system applications, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them receive more income than others too. The reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
remains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in certain instance.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to conduct them to higher institutions and provides opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an offering.
However
, depression and stressful from it causes lacking of useful-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which is a part of significant requirements that employers desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in applications.
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IELTS essay Strict education is necessary for children.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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