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stress-related illness become increasingly commonly.

stress-related illness become increasingly commonly. Kn5g3
Nowadays illness increased in people due the lifestyle they are living and also because of stress. This essay will discuss two main causes of stress-related sicknesses including long working hours and financial issues. We will discuss solutions to these problems as managing the working hours and proper investment plan for future. People are working more hours as compare to past. In addition, they suffer a lot from money problem. One found themselves in challenging condition in this competitive world to survive and enjoy good life along-with the increased the cost of living. For example, recent research found that people wants to climb fast in corporate world so they work hard instead of smart work. And also to live lavish life they take loans from bank or private finance company for which the loan EMI needs to be paid regularly. This are the two main reason which leads the mental pressure and make their life stressful. Maintaining a good work-life balance and making proper future investment plan helps in mitigating the stress related sickness. People need to realise the personal as well as professional life and try to avoid taking work load because it will increased the mental pressure which result into the physical disease and they need to spend money wisely by investing somewhere safely for future. For example, many employees frustrate too much after working longer for a day and they are not able to spend time with their friends and family. And also they should not try to show-off the world. Therefore, one must decide the ratio of work and some future investment plan. In conclusion, in today's fast paced world more and more people are becoming ill due to the stress. In this essay we discussed the major reason of stress which is caused by longer working hours and the financial problem. This essay also suggested the solution to the problems i. e. , to manage the work life and the investment of money rather then spending money without thinking.
Nowadays illness increased in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
due the lifestyle they are living and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. This essay will discuss two main causes of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-related sicknesses including long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and financial issues. We will discuss solutions to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
as managing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
plan for future.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
as compare to past.
In addition
, they suffer a lot from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. One found themselves in challenging condition in this competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
to survive and enjoy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
along-with the increased the cost of living.
For example
, recent research found that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
wants
to climb
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
in corporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
instead
of smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. And
also
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
lavish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
they take loans from bank or private finance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for which the loan EMI needs to
be paid
regularly
.
The verb 'are' is plural. Did you mean "these are", "This is" or "This was"?
This are
the two main reason which leads the mental pressure and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
stressful.

Maintaining a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
work-life balance and making proper future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
plan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in mitigating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
related sickness.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
need to
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
the personal
as well
as professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and try to avoid taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
load
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "increase"
increased
the mental pressure which result into the physical
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
disease and
they need to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
wisely
by investing somewhere
safely
for future.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employees frustrate too much after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
longer for a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
day and
they are not able to spend time with their friends and family. And
also
they should not try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
-off the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
Therefore
, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
decide the ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
plan.

In conclusion
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming ill due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. In this essay we discussed the major reason of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
which
is caused
by longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and the financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. This essay
also
suggested the solution to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
to manage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
rather
Did you mean "than"? 'than' is used for comparisons, 'then' is an expression of time.
then
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
without thinking.
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IELTS essay stress-related illness become increasingly commonly.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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