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Some people betieve tamily has the highest influence on a child, others believe TV, friends, music have the most influence on them.

Some people betieve tamily has the highest influence on a child, others believe TV, friends, music have the most influence on them. Wm6MW
The proper nurturing of a child is important for the betterment of the world. Many people believe that children are influenced by family. Others believe that children are influenced by the external world, such as music, movies and culture. and I believe that primarily children are influenced by family. When a child is born, she is surrounded by family members. if the child gets a lot of love. they grew a positive mindset. However, if a child is neglected. they grew a negative mindset. This is because the child learns to watch others. since they spent a lot of time with their family. they learn their behaviour and manners. The child also learned the poor conception of our world. For example, dark skin is less attractive than white skin. children prejudice people based on their skin tone. Also, children make a difference in the class of people. they make friends with their family class. in other words, children affected by friends. They both choose the same music and movies and also similar clothes. All of these decisions get shaped by the initial influence of their family. Many people believe that children are highly influenced by society. They say that children most of the time are influenced by friends and others. such as movies, television and music. These kinds of things are affected by a child. a child wants to learn something new. and other things. the child followed their friend's behaviour and culture. Children trust their friends and share everything. they influence the more permanent effect. In conclusion, I want to say that children are primarily affected by family. then they are influenced by society and external things. so, if you learn good things for children. the child grew by positivity. but if they learn bad things they grow by negativity.
The proper nurturing of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the betterment of the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are influenced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are influenced
by the external world, such as music, movies and culture.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
primarily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are influenced
by family.

When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is born
, she
is surrounded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
grew a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
mindset.
However
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is neglected
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
grew a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
mindset. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learns
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
others.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
since
they spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time with their family.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and manners. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
also
learned the poor conception of our world.
For example
, dark skin is less attractive than white skin.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
children
prejudice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
based on their skin tone.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a difference in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. They both choose the same music and movies and
also
similar clothes. All of these decisions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
shaped by the initial influence of their family.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
highly
influenced by society. They say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
most of the time
are influenced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
such
as movies, television and music. These kinds of things are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
something new.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
followed their friend's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and culture.

Children trust their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and share everything.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
influence the more permanent effect.

In conclusion
, I want to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
primarily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
then
they
are influenced
by society and external things.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, if you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
grew by positivity.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things they grow by negativity.
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IELTS essay Some people betieve tamily has the highest influence on a child, others believe TV, friends, music have the most influence on them.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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