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Stress is one of the biggest and most important problems of this age because stress always affects our life in a negative way.

Stress is one of the biggest and most important problems of this age because stress always affects our life in a negative way. In the past, people had an easy life and they did not feel stress so much, but today their life is getting worse day by day because of stress. In my opinion, there are three main effects of being stressed on people’s psychology, work-life, and health. Firstly, people who are stressed may have psychological problems. To start with, these people are generally pessimistic and they usually see the negative sides of events. This is the reason why they are unhappy. Also if a person is stressed, they want to be alone. It is difficult to have friends for them. Besides, extreme stress threatens people’s life. For example, stressed people tend to commit suicide more than other people. This is a scientific fact. Secondly, being stressed affects people’s work-life badly. Stress generally makes people feel so tense. Stressed people might be offensive to their colleagues so they can hurt their feeling unintentionally. Moreover, stressed people can not concentrate on anything. They can be bored with everything easily and it affects their success in their jobs. Furthermore stressed people can not make the right decisions at work. When people are stressed, they can not consider a point effectively and they decide in hurry and make mistakes in their jobs. Lastly, stress affects people’s health. In fact, stress is the main reason for being ill. It can cause health problems such as aches and heart attacks. Also, they might have physical problems like hair loss, feeling tired, and losing or gaining weight. In addition, it can even damage our brain. Stress is the cause of losing cells in the human brain. According to scientists, this event can occur in the hippocampus part which collects our memories in our brain. This is the cause of the beginning of Alzheimer's disease. As you can see, stress is the cause of malfunction for humans in their lives and this illness affects the psychology, work-life, and health of people. I strongly believe being stressed is very dangerous and it brings us only unhappiness. We should do our best to avoid it.
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Stress
is one of the biggest and most
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important
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problems
of this age
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because
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stress
always
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affects
our
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life
in a
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negative
way. In the past,
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people
had an easy
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life and
they did not feel
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stress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much,
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but
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today
their
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life
is getting worse day by day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. In my opinion, there are three main effects of being

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
on
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people’s
psychology, work-life, and
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health
.
Firstly
,
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people
who are
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stressed
may have psychological
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problems
. To
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start
with, these
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people
are
generally
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
pessimistic and
they
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides of
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events
. This is the reason why they are unhappy.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
if a person is
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stressed
, they want to be alone. It is difficult to have friends for them.
Besides
, extreme
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stress
threatens
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people’s
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life
.
For example
,
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stressed
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people
tend to commit suicide more than other
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people
. This is a scientific fact.
Secondly
, being
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stressed
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affects
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people’s
work-life
badly
.
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Stress
generally
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makes
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people
feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
tense.
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Stressed
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people
might be offensive to their colleagues
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so
they can hurt their feeling
unintentionally
.
Moreover
,
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stressed
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people
can not concentrate on anything. They can
be bored
with everything
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easily and
it
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affects
their success in their jobs.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
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stressed
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people
can not
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make
the right decisions at work. When
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people
are
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stressed
, they can not consider a point
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
effectively and
they decide in hurry and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes in their jobs.

Lastly
,
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stress
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affects
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people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. In fact,
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stress
is the main reason for being ill. It can
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cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as aches and heart attacks.
Also
, they might have physical
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problems
like hair loss, feeling tired, and losing or gaining weight.
In addition
, it can even damage our brain.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Stress
is the
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cause
of losing cells in the human brain. According to scientists, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
can occur in the hippocampus part which collects our memories in our brain. This is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of the beginning of Alzheimer's disease. As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of malfunction for humans in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and this illness
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affects
the psychology, work-life, and
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health
of
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people
. I
strongly
believe being
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stressed
is
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very
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
dangerous and
it brings us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
unhappiness. We should do our best to avoid it.
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IELTS essay Stress is one of the biggest and most important problems of this age because stress always affects our life in a negative way.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
367 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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