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In today’s world there is no subtle difference between men and women. Women are way more progressive than the men and are more successful as compared to the men. It is being said that women are solely responsible for deciding

In today’s world there is no subtle difference between men and women. Women are way more progressive than the men and are more successful as compared to the men. It is being said that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies as they bear the responsibility for bringing the children up. From my perspective, I don’t agree to the fact that only women should be held responsible for bringing the children up and also to handle the household chores. To begin with, firstly it should be a mutual decision between the couple whether to have a baby or not. Couples can discuss between themselves whether they both are ready to take responsibility or not. Secondly, women do have their own life also beside their husband and children, so thinking that only women are solely responsible is not a progressive thought. Thirdly, children do need both of their parents to be present for them. It effects the children thought process and well-being. On the contrary, I do feel that women undergo major change in their body and mind. So, if they are not ready mentally and physically then it should be their decision only if they don’t want to have a baby. In addition, It will have adverse effect on their health if they are not totally ready for this. To recapitulate, it should be a collaborative decision of both men and women whether to have a baby or not. The decision should not be biased in such a way that only women or men needs to do everything.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world there is no subtle difference between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and women.

Women are way more progressive than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and are more successful as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. It is
being said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
solely
responsible for deciding
Consider shortening this phrase to just “whether”. It is correct though if you mean ‘regardless of whether’.
whether or not
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
babies
as they bear the responsibility for bringing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
up. From my perspective, I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should
be held
responsible for bringing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
up and
also
to handle the household chores.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
firstly
it should be a mutual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
between the couple whether to have a baby or not. Couples can discuss between themselves whether they both are ready to take responsibility or not.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
do have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life
also
beside their husband and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
thinking that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
solely
responsible is not a progressive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
.

Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do need both of their parents to be present for them. It effects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process and well-being.

On the contrary
, I do feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
undergo major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in their body and mind.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if they are not ready mentally and
physically
then it should be their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
if they don’t want to have a baby.
In addition
, It will have adverse effect on their health if they are not
totally
ready for this.

To recapitulate, it should be a collaborative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
whether to have a baby or not. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
should not
be biased
in such a way that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
needs to do everything.
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IELTS essay In today’s world there is no subtle difference between men and women. Women are way more progressive than the men and are more successful as compared to the men. It is being said that women are solely responsible for deciding

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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