Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is argued by many that the number of people who are health in the future is less than now. I completely agree with this statement and in this essay I will state the reason of my view. The most compelling reason for holding my view is that in the future the technology will be more advance then now, thus make people become lazier because everything will be easy. For example, nowadays when people want to order some meal they don't have to go to the restaurant, they just wait for the deliver to come to their house. Another example, today the car industry have a technology that people couldn't have to drive the car anymore, so they can just lay on their seat and the car will be drive by itself. These are just in two aspects later the technology will be effect in a number of aspect in human life, so technology will make a person only sit and the robot will do the rest like what people order to the robot. . Therefore, if a person rarely to do an exercise this will make people easier to get disease. Furthermore, when people become lazy to do anything, they will be become an obesity. In fact, people who have overweight they will be easier to get sick like diabetes, heart disease, or other else. Hence, it is important for human to always do a gym, so their body will be much healthier and stronger. In conclusion, it is danger for people's health in the future if they are really enjoy the advance technology and don't do anything. People should to always do an exercise even though the robot will help them to their job because doing some sport can make human stronger in physics and they cannot get sick easier.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are health in the future is less than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and in this essay I will state the reason of my view.

The most compelling reason for holding my view is that in the future the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will be more advance
Did you mean “than”?
then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become lazier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everything will be easy.
For example
, nowadays when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to order
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
meal they don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to the restaurant, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wait for the
The word ‘deliver’ is a verb. Did you mean the noun “delivery”?
deliver
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. Another example,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
the car industry have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
couldn't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
drive the car anymore,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
lay on their seat and the car will be drive by itself. These are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
in two aspects later the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will be effect in
Possible agreement error. The noun aspect seems to be countable; consider using: “a number of aspects”.
a number of aspect
in human life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
sit and the robot will do the rest like what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
order to the robot.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
Therefore
, if a person rarely to do an exercise this will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
disease.

Furthermore
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become lazy to do anything, they will
be become
an obesity. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
Possible agreement error – use past participle here: “overweighted”.
overweight
they will be easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick like diabetes, heart disease, or other else.
Hence
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for human to always do a gym,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their body will be much healthier and stronger.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health in the future if they are
really
enjoy the advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and don't do anything.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should to always do an exercise
even though
the robot will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to their job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sport can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
human stronger in
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
physics and
they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick easier.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts