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storing the personal details on the internet is becoming common nowadays.

storing the personal details on the internet is becoming common nowadays. Xynrg
It is the fact that storing the personal details on the internet is becoming common nowadays. However, others believe that this trend is negative as people will be likely to be vulnerable to cyber-crimes. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give reasons why I lean toward the latter opinion. On the one hand, updating the personal information on the online platforms offers superior experience to user, especially the online shopper. By filling the personal details, the customers make more convenient online purchases. For example, as their identity information has already been synchronized with their account, customer can skip the time-consuming transfer the data to make a transaction. Moreover, the personal data such as photos, ID or contact could be accessed from distance. It helps the user to approach their data anywhere with just a few clicks. On the other hand, I lean toward to the opinion that this trend makes users potentially susceptible to crimes. Posting personal data on the internet that include name or addresses can be exploited by cyber criminals for illicit purposes. For instance, a hacker known as ‘Hiec PC’ in Vietnam stole thousands a huge number of security social numbers and resold them on the black market. Furthermore, people could suffer from financial loss. To be specific, hackers can hack to the account that contain bank password to gain a significant amount of money. In conclusion, as far as I am concerned, I contend that people should be cautions when filling their information on any websites or online platforms.
It is the fact that storing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
on the internet is becoming common nowadays.
However
, others believe that this trend is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be likely to be vulnerable to cyber-crimes. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give reasons why I lean toward the latter opinion.

On the one hand, updating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
information on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
platforms offers superior experience to user,
especially
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopper. By filling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, the customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
.
For example
, as their identity information has already
been synchronized
with their account, customer can skip the time-consuming transfer the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a transaction.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
such as photos, ID or contact could
be accessed
from distance. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the user to approach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
anywhere with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few clicks.

On the other hand
, I lean toward to the opinion that this trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
users
potentially
susceptible to crimes. Posting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
on the internet that include name or addresses can
be exploited
by cyber criminals for illicit purposes.
For instance
, a hacker known as ‘
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hiec
PC’ in Vietnam stole thousands a huge number of security social numbers and resold them on the black market.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could suffer from financial loss. To be specific, hackers can hack to the account that contain bank password to gain a significant amount of money.

In conclusion
, as far as I
am concerned
, I contend that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should be cautions when filling their information on any websites or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
platforms.
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IELTS essay storing the personal details on the internet is becoming common nowadays.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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