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he lack of concentration of some individuals in the classroom seems to be a common problem

he lack of concentration of some individuals in the classroom seems to be a common problem Nwmgb
In recent years, the lack of concentration of some individuals in the classroom seems to be a common problem and this would have a negative impact on them. In my opinion, I argued that the old-fashioned teaching methods are the main culprits for this and that school should redesign the curriculum to solve this issue. The outdated education program is not suitable for students nowadays to learn. Chief of this is that they have a huge amount of workload since primary school. To illustrate, students in Vietnam has to study 13 subjects and they even go to extra class after school. Beside that, there are some obsolete pedagogical practices, teaching students to memorise the predetermined answers to prepare for exams. As a consequent, this can cause the student mental and physical exhaustion, which turn affects their ability to focus at school. To counter this issue, the current education approach should be innovated to be relevant to the reality, which makes the lesson more useful and attractive for students to learn. Firstly, school should categorize the subjects in accordance to the ability and aptitude of students. For example, one who has gift for science should take more Maths or Physics class. Secondly, educators ought to redesign the content of interactive exercises or related issue from their daily life to the lesson, which stimulates students’ curiosity and improves their attention span. In conclusion, the main causes of low lever of concentration in children nowadays at school are the obsolete methods of teaching. To remedy the sittuation, the school boards and teachers should replace the oudated education program and ineffective teaching methods are the important things to capture the students’ attention in learning.
In recent years, the lack of concentration of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals in the classroom seems to be a common problem and this would have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on them.

In my opinion, I argued that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
methods are the main culprits for this and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should redesign the curriculum to solve this issue.

The outdated education program is not suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
nowadays to learn. Chief of this is that they have a huge amount of workload since primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in Vietnam
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
study 13
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
subjects and
they even go to extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Beside that, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
obsolete pedagogical practices,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'memorise' is British English.
memorise
the predetermined answers to prepare for exams. As a consequent, this can cause the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
mental and physical exhaustion, which turn affects their ability to focus at school.

To counter this issue, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
education approach should
be innovated
to be relevant to the reality, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the lesson more useful and attractive for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to learn.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should categorize the subjects in accordance to the ability and aptitude of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For example
, one who has gift for science should take more
Possible spelling mistake. 'Maths' is British English.
Maths
or Physics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Secondly
, educators ought to redesign the content of interactive exercises or related issue from their daily life to the lesson, which stimulates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
curiosity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their attention span.

In conclusion
, the main causes of low lever of concentration in children nowadays at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are the obsolete methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
. To remedy the
Possible spelling mistake found.
sittuation
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
boards and teachers should replace the
Possible spelling mistake found.
oudated
education program and ineffective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
methods are the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things to capture the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
attention in learning.
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IELTS essay he lack of concentration of some individuals in the classroom seems to be a common problem

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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