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Starting a new life in another country

Starting a new life in another country JKXMw
Starting a new life abroad had been a dream since I was a child, and I used to travel with my family around many countries. When I was in my last year in university, during my internship. I instantly bonded with Mike, an Australian physiotherapist. His uncle Brian launched a private medical center and was looking for some people to hire. I saw an opportunity to make my dream come true. Mike and I went to Melbourne to visit Brian, and I did an informal interview. I had just graduated, and he doubted if it would be a good idea. Therefore, Brian told me, that I could start as an internship period for 6 months, and then we will talk. I came back home, but I had a concrete plan, after visiting Melbourne, I feel that I need to change of scenery. I’ve been living in a small village and had a job lined up, for 6 months but if I don’t stay working there, I will look for another job, wherever, but I fell in love with Melbourne. In September, I moved to Melbourne, I was living in a cramped apartment next to Brian’s medical center. I was excited to start fresh. Mike helps me to immerse myself in my new city, I met his friends, he shows me the lifestyle. I started to work and was very excited, everything was going well, I loved my job and I feel fine with my colleges. But at night I used to feel homesick, I keep in contact daily with my family and friends. But after a hard day, I missed being with Nataly to cheer me up, only she knows how to do it. After finishing my internship, Brian offered me to be the chief of my department. I became a confident person for him. I used to solve every issue and if I need to give an extra minute, I did. All my colleges accepted my new change. My parents were extremely proud of me. And after a few months, they came to visit. I moved to a big house in the suburbs of Melbourne, next to the beach. Starting a new life abroad is more exhausting than you could think. But Mike and Brian made all plain sailing for me. I moved here 5 years ago. I had a job that I love, I have a big house on the beach, I have friends who are like my family, and my family visits me twice a year. Furthermore, I go on vacation with old friends. Not only that, but I’m in an amazing and vibrant city, and I have my little family with my husband Brian and my puppy Kira. Furthermore, I feel I’m right up my street, it is better than I ever dreamed, every morning I have to pinch myself, I can’t believe how it has changed my life.
Starting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
life abroad had been a dream since I was a child, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to travel with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
around
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. When I was in my last year in university, during my internship. I
instantly
bonded with Mike, an Australian physiotherapist. His uncle Brian launched a private medical center and was looking for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to hire. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
my dream
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true.

Mike and I went to Melbourne to visit Brian, and I did an informal interview. I had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
graduated, and he doubted if it would be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
Therefore
, Brian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me, that I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
as an internship period for 6 months, and then we will talk. I came back home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I had a concrete plan, after visiting Melbourne, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that I need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of scenery. I’ve been living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
village and had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
lined up, for 6 months
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if I don’t stay working there, I will look for another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, wherever,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I fell in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with Melbourne.

In September, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to Melbourne, I was living in a cramped apartment
next
to Brian’s medical center. I
was excited
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
fresh. Mike
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me to immerse myself in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
city, I met his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
me the lifestyle. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to work and was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
excited, everything was going well, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
fine with my colleges.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
at night I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
homesick, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in contact daily with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
after a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
day, I missed being with
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nataly
to cheer me up,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
she knows how to do it.

After finishing my internship, Brian offered me to be the chief of my department. I became a confident person for him. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to solve every issue and if I need to give an extra minute, I did. All my colleges
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. My parents were
extremely
proud of me. And after a few months, they came to visit. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in the suburbs of Melbourne,
next
to the beach.

Starting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
life abroad is more exhausting than you could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
Mike and Brian made all plain sailing for me. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
here 5 years ago. I had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, I have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
on the beach, I have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
who are like my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
visits me twice a year.
Furthermore
, I go on vacation with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I’m in an amazing and vibrant city, and I have my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
with my husband Brian and my puppy Kira.
Furthermore
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
I’m right up my street, it is better than I ever dreamed, every morning I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pinch myself, I can’t believe how it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
my life.
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IELTS essay Starting a new life in another country

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
483 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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