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Sports stars often earn a lot more money than people in other professions. This is unfair, because nurses and teachers, for example, are more useful to society, and work harder than famous sportsmen. Do you agree or disagree?

Sports stars often earn a lot more money than people in other professions. This is unfair, because nurses and teachers, for example, are more useful to society, and work harder than famous sportsmen. 3YlXX
Nowadays, a professional footballer earns much more than a teacher or nurse. Many people don't think this is fair, because teachers and nurses do more useful work. However, I disagree that we should pay them more than sports stars, because top sports people can have a positive effect on young people and on society. They also have to work very hard. Firstly, sports celebrities can be a good example to young people. It is important for children and teenagers to take exercise to stay fit and healthy, and watching sports people makes them want to do this. Also, I disagree with people who say that sports stars do not work hard. Top athletes practise for hours every day trying to be the best. They often hurt themselves and have to rest because they use their bodies too much. So, in my opinion, they should make a lot of money. A final reason why sports stars should earn a lot is that they bring people together. Parents and children enjoy watching sport together, and the whole country can support their national sports team. This makes different types of people feel like they are part of the same society. To sum up, nurses and teachers do very important work and should get better pay. However, I don't believe that we should pay sports stars less. They are positive models for young people, and they have to work very hard. Therefore, I think that it is right for them to earn a lot of money.
Nowadays, a professional footballer earns much more than a teacher or nurse.
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people
don't
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think
this is
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fair
,
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because
teachers and nurses do more useful
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work
.
However
, I disagree that we should pay them more than
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sports
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stars
,
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because
top
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sports
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people
can have a
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positive
effect on young
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people
and on society. They
also
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have to
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work
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very
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hard
.

Firstly
,
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sports
celebrities can be a
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good
example to young
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people
. It is
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important
for children and
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teenagers
to take exercise to stay fit and healthy, and watching
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sports
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people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
makes
them want to do this.

Also
, I disagree with
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people
who say that
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sports
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stars
do not
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work
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hard
. Top athletes
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
for hours every day trying to be the best. They
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often
hurt themselves and
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have to
rest
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because
they
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use
their bodies too much.
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So
, in my opinion, they should
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make
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a lot of
money.

A final reason why
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sports
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stars
should earn a lot is that they bring
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people
together. Parents and children enjoy watching
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sport
together, and the whole country can support their national
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sports
team. This
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makes
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different
types of
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people
feel like they are part of the same society.

To sum up, nurses and teachers do
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very
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important
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work
and should
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get
better pay.
However
, I don't believe that we should pay
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sports
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stars
less. They are
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positive
models for young
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people
, and they
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have to
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work
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very
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hard
.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is right for them to earn
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a lot of
money.
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IELTS essay Sports stars often earn a lot more money than people in other professions. This is unfair, because nurses and teachers, for example, are more useful to society, and work harder than famous sportsmen.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
252 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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