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Some people think that the world is now one large village and we are all responsible for each other. Others, however, argue that people in other countries should look after their own people and not be concerned with other countries.Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people think that the world is now one large village and we are all responsible for each other. Others, however, argue that people in other countries should look after their own people and not be concerned with other countries. Discuss both views and give your own opinion o6W39
In the 21st century, the world has become one through many mediums but despite the globalization in the place, people still dispute over whether the world has become one or the people of another country should be concerned about their own people and the community by avoiding interfering in the other countries. To begin with, nowadays the world is interconnected as well as interdependent either remotely or physically because people depend on the import and export that happens between various countries. Moreover, making the society work in harmony and bring out not only positive change but also movement in the community. Therefore, people have to be aware and concerned about what is happening around the world and what role they have to take up for society to work smoothly and help others to get justice. As epitome, there have been changes which happened because people were concerned about each other, it is #metoo movement which brought justice to the sexually harassed women all around the world. On the other hand, some skeptics suggest that people in other countries should look after their own people and not be concerned with other countries. Which indeed, helps the government to focus on their own people and development in their country thoroughly. The government will be able to promote local and small producers and preserve its local environment such as flora and fauna. In addition, it will also conserve its culture, custom and religion with its ideologies. However, I believe that the world is one thus, being caring towards each other can be a helping hand in a catastrophic disaster whether it is natural or man-made. The example would be the Australian bushfire where people around the world provided humanitarian aids to the naive people to cope with the wildfire spread across the Australia. Hence, it became a major role to maintain humanity and peace among the people. All in all, it will still be debatable over the matter but the positive effect outweighs the skepticism because sticking together can bring stability in all aspects of development of each country in the long run.
In the 21st century, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has become one through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
mediums
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
despite the globalization in the place,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
dispute over whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has become one or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerned
about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the community by avoiding interfering in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, nowadays the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is interconnected
as well
as interdependent either
remotely
or
physically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
depend on the import and export that happens between various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Moreover
, making the society work in harmony and bring out not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
movement in the community.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be aware and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerned
about what is happening around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and what role they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take up for society to work
smoothly
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
justice. As epitome, there have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
which happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerned
about each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, it is #
Possible spelling mistake found.
metoo
movement which brought justice to the
sexually
harassed women all around the world.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
skeptics suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should look after their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerned
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Which
indeed
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to focus on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and development in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
thoroughly
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will be able to promote local and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
producers and preserve its local environment such as flora and fauna.
In addition
, it will
also
conserve its culture, custom and religion with its ideologies.

However
, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is one
thus
, being caring towards each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
can be a helping hand in a catastrophic disaster whether it is natural or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made. The example would be the Australian bushfire where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
provided humanitarian aids to the naive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to cope with the wildfire spread across the Australia.
Hence
, it became a major role to maintain humanity and peace among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

All in all, it will
still
be debatable over the matter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect outweighs the skepticism
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
sticking together can bring stability in all aspects of development of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the long run.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the world is now one large village and we are all responsible for each other. Others, however, argue that people in other countries should look after their own people and not be concerned with other countries. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
350 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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