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Sports lessons must be compulsory at schools. do you agree or disagree?

Sports lessons must be compulsory at schools. ELkmQ
Today, children spend more time playing computer games and have a lot of bad habits that makes them more sedentary than in the past. Thus, I agree children must take part in sport lessons at school. First, sport lessons help students improve their health. Doing exercise is extremely important for all of us to suffer from obesity and health problems. Physical education improves not only physical health but also mental health. It can help us reduce stress efficiently. Moreover, we will not be bored or tired of studying. We don’t just sit in the classroom with paper and pen. We can go outside to try new sports or have more experiments that makes us feel more relaxed than studying subjects such as maths, literature, etc. Second, we can develop our skills while playing sports. Playing sports forces us to communicate and cooperate with our partners. Therefore, we should take this opportunity to improve our communication skills, especially teamwork skills which is a vital thing we need when we work in a team. In addition, we can learn more survival skills. For example, swimming lessons provide you with swimming skills, etc. In conclusion, sport lessons must be compulsory at school. It is one essential way to make children be more active.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, children spend more time playing computer games and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more sedentary than in the past.
Thus
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
at school.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Doing exercise is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for all of us to suffer from obesity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems. Physical education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
efficiently
.
Moreover
, we will not
be bored
or tired of studying. We don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sit in the classroom with paper and pen. We can go outside to try new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
or have more experiments that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us feel more relaxed than studying subjects such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
, literature, etc. Second, we can develop our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
while playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
forces us to communicate and cooperate with our partners.
Therefore
, we should take this opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
especially
teamwork
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which is a vital thing we need when we work in a team.
In addition
, we can learn more survival
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
For example
, swimming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
provide you with swimming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, etc.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be compulsory at school. It is one essential way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
children be more active.
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IELTS essay Sports lessons must be compulsory at schools.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
210 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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