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Qus : some people feel money bring flexibility but others feel money create problems. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

Qus: some people feel money bring flexibility but others feel money create problems. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages Gr0xL
Money plays a vital role in all stages of people life. Many people feel that money can bring life flexibility and easy to adopt cutting edge technology while others believe money brings issue to the people. In this essay I will outline both the benefit of having money and several drawbacks of throwing large amount of money which make problems to the country. Money have more advantageous in buying comfortable items. As the main reason it will allow everyone to invest what they prefer. In other words, people want to buy Rollsroyce, for instance, they buy because of having money which will enhance their social status. Moreover, people are bought products to showcase that they are rich. In addition, in recent years, many electonic products are launched which will reduce the time for people, but the price of the item is exorbitant if anyone have money they buy this products easily. Dish washer, for instance, people bought to reduce the cleaning activity. Therefore, money plays a indispensable role in all peoples’ life and provide more comfort to the people. Despite that, there are numerous drawbacks. As for as I am concerned money will lead to negative activities. Indeed, people throw their money in an illegal business and make a negative relationship by doing wrong business. If anyone have money and they invest in wrong business which is not only a problem for that person, but also an issue to the society and who all are work in their business and their family also in trouble. Furthermore, money make addiction to the person. Provided that anyone once earn money illegal, then he never stop doing that business and money never makes him sleep, so depression, anexity and health problems will come. Thus, money will create negative mindset to the people. In conclusion, many people feel money brings comfort although others think this will create issues. Hence, money is beneficial for buying flexible items and make life faster, however, once it came it bring negative mindset to that person and he faces many problems.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
plays a vital role in all stages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
flexibility and easy to adopt cutting edge technology while others believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
issue to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In this essay I will outline both the benefit of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and several drawbacks of throwing large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
to the country.

Money have more advantageous in buying comfortable items.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
the main reason it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
everyone to invest what they prefer.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rollsroyce
,
for instance
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which will enhance their social status.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
products to showcase that they are rich.
In addition
, in recent years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
electonic
products
are launched
which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the price of the item is exorbitant if anyone
The pronoun 'anyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
Did you mean "these"?
this
products
easily
. Dish washer,
for instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the cleaning activity.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
plays
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
indispensable role in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and provide more comfort to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Despite that, there are numerous drawbacks. As for as I
am concerned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
activities.
Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
throw their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in an illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
relationship by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. If anyone
The pronoun 'anyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
they invest in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
which is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
for that person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
an issue to the society and who all are work in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and their family
also
in trouble.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
addiction to the person. Provided that anyone once earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
illegal, then he never
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "stops", "stopped".
stop
doing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
never
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
him sleep,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
depression,
Possible spelling mistake found.
anexity
and health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
mindset to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
comfort although others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this will create issues.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is beneficial for buying flexible items and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
faster,
however
, once it came it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
mindset to that
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
person and
he faces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
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IELTS essay Qus: some people feel money bring flexibility but others feel money create problems. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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