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Sports create peace in world

Sports create peace in world aAJgV
In a peaceful era, sports have become increasingly common and play a crucial part of humans' entertainment. And there is a general perception that sports are the key which create our world more peaceful. In my view, I partly agree with this opinion Undoubtedly international sporting events the great bridge which tighten the diplomatic relations and create peace among nations around the world. International sporting champions are the event which countries can eliminate animosity existing in the past. According to many surveys, in the past some nations were happening cònflict. As a consequence, almost their economy and society were exacerbated seriously. for instance Việt Nam and china used to an enemy. However due to sports as soccer in these days national bonds between Việt Nam and china are strengthened. Moreover, the relations among countries become good socioeconomic factors will have chance to process. And government will also have the opportunities to meet foreign leaders in spirit of friendly competition and without attention of trade or military talks. On the contrary only a very small percentage people will be influenced in this way and a peace of world hardly creates by this way. Peace IS related to many factors such citizen as a government, politics as well as citizen. Central african republic is a place happening civil war. In this country both of government and citizen do not pay much attention to sports if citizens in war-torn nations have any representatives the leaders may not even accept. On the other hand some nations can create a peaceful country without international sporting champions such as denmark. Because danish are concentrating on economic problem rather than military conflicts. In conclusion international sporting events only contribute a small part in creating peace in world. This problem is related to many factors rather than one
In a peaceful era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have become
increasingly
common and play a crucial part of humans' entertainment. And there is a general perception that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are the key which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
more peaceful. In my view, I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion
Undoubtedly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
the great bridge which tighten the diplomatic relations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peace
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
sporting champions are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can eliminate animosity existing in the past. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
surveys, in the past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
were happening
Possible spelling mistake found.
cònflict
. As a consequence, almost their economy and society
were exacerbated
seriously
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance
Possible spelling mistake found.
Việt
Nam and china
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to an enemy.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as soccer in these days national bonds between
Possible spelling mistake found.
Việt
Nam and china
are strengthened
.
Moreover
, the relations among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
socioeconomic factors will have chance to process. And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will
also
have the opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
foreign leaders in spirit of friendly competition and without attention of trade or military talks.
On the contrary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
percentage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
be influenced
in this way and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peace
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
hardly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creates
by this way.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Peace
IS related
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, politics
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
.
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Central african republic
is a place happening civil war. In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
both of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
do not pay much attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
in war-torn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
have any representatives the leaders may not even accept.
On the other hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
a peaceful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
sporting champions such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
denmark
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
danish are concentrating on economic problem
rather
than military conflicts.
In conclusion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
contribute a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
part in creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peace
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. This problem
is related
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors
rather
than
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
one
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IELTS essay Sports create peace in world

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
299 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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