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Sport should be a compulsory subject throughout the school year. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Sport should be a compulsory subject throughout the school year. e56XA
While some argue that sport should be a mandatory subject during the entire school year, others contend that it only needs to be taught in limited periods of time. I totally agree with the former view since teaching sport as a compulsory course can help students to develop a physically active lifestyle as well as their social skills. To begin with, there are several reasons why I believe sport needs to be mandatory over the course of the school year. One of them is that it gives students the opportunity to engage in a variety of physical activities, enabling them to have a healthier lifestyle. According to research, it was proven that students who took sport classes regularly at school showed the tendency to be more healthy than those who took less of them. Furthermore, the students who had to take these classes more often reportedly tended to have better concentration while studying. Another reason that I think students need to take sport courses for their whole school year is because it could tremendously contribute to developing their social skills. To illustrate this, there was an experiment conducted by experts in 2012, making certain students join a sports team three times a week and others only once. As a result, it was found out that those who engaged in a sports team more often were more inclined to interact and cooperate with their friends on a daily basis, as compared to those who participated in it less frequently. In conclusion, I completely agree that compulsory subjects throughout the school year should include sport because not only is it an effective way of facilitating students to have a healthier lifestyle, but it can also help them improve their cooperative skills.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
should be a mandatory subject during the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, others contend that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
needs to
be taught
in limited periods of time. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former view since teaching
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sport
as a compulsory course can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to develop a
physically
active lifestyle
as well
as their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several reasons why I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
needs to be mandatory over the course of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. One of them is that it gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
the opportunity to engage in a variety of physical activities, enabling them to have a healthier lifestyle. According to research, it
was proven
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
took
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
classes
regularly
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the tendency to be more healthy than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
took less of them.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
had to take these classes more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
reportedly tended to have better concentration while studying.

Another reason that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
courses for their whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it could
tremendously
contribute to developing their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. To illustrate this, there was an experiment conducted by experts in 2012, making certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
team three times a week
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
once.
As a result
, it
was found
out that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
engaged in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
team more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
were more inclined to interact and cooperate with their friends on a daily basis, as compared to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
participated in it less
frequently
.

In conclusion
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that compulsory subjects throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
should include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is it an effective way of facilitating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have a healthier lifestyle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their cooperative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
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IELTS essay Sport should be a compulsory subject throughout the school year.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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