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"Spending your holiday locally is much better travelling abroad"

"Spending your holiday locally is much better travelling abroad" J3gaB
I very much agree with the point that travelling locally is much better than travelling abroad because when you travel abroad you have to learn about their culture and you are also not familiar with the places and the currency they use. When you are spending a holiday locally you are familiar with the places you want to visit and it is also less expensive. Travelling abroad is great because you visit new places and meet new people but you are not familiar with the culture and people of that country, you will need some time to get used to their currency and you will need some time to learn their language so that you can easily interact with people. In another case when you are travelling locally you don't need any time to learn the language or learn how to use currency because you are native. In conclusion, I would say that travelling locally is the best idea as it is less expensive as compared to travelling abroad and you can go easily to any place you want to go you don't need anyone's help to visit places or interact with people or using the currency so the best idea is to spend holiday locally.
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much
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agree
with the point that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locally
is much better than
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travelling
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abroad
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because
when you travel
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abroad
you
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have to
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learn
about their culture and you are
also
not familiar with the
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places
and the
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currency
they
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use
. When you are spending a holiday
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locally
you are familiar with the
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places
you want to visit and it is
also
less expensive.

Travelling
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abroad
is great
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because
you visit new
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places
and
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meet
new
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people
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but
you are not familiar with the culture and
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people
of that country, you will
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need
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some
time to
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get
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used
to their
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currency
and you will
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need
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some
time to
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learn
their language
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so
that you can
easily
interact with
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people
. In another case when you are
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travelling
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locally
you don't
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need
any time to
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learn
the language or
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learn
how to
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use
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currency
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because
you are native.

In conclusion
, I would say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locally
is the best
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idea
as it is less expensive as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
and you can go
easily
to any
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place
you want to go you don't
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need
anyone's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
or interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
currency
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is to spend holiday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locally
.
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IELTS essay "Spending your holiday locally is much better travelling abroad"

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
206 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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