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Development of children is better in countryside area than in cities

Development of children is better in countryside area than in cities BLrO6
In this modern era, lifestyle has undergone a plethora of changes over the decade, it is known that the children are the upcoming future of nation. consequently, the better nourishment of children is required. It is recommended that the development of children is only better in countryside area than in a enormous city. I partially agree with this notion. This essay will explain the reason of this statement in upcoming paragraph. On the one hand, metropolitan cities provide quality education to children. Even, lots of extracurricular activities are available in the urban schools. Children are getting excellent education. This study provide more and more knowledge to pupils. By virtue of this, children are unable to get a profitable job. Children secure their future by getting education which lead to job opportunities. In addition, thousands of other facilities are served to children by cities. One of them is a medical facility. In urban area's majority of hospitals are available for the caring of children. Even, the vaccination process is very rapid in vast cities. As a result, children have a better lifestyle in cities and they grow up with the balanced the health. from another perspective, rural areas have their own scenario owing to the fact that these type of regions they provide good environment to children's nurturing. Countryside areas are full of greenery and plants, which help to maintain a lesser pollution in this area for stop as a consequence, children could grow more efficiently and breath in fresh air. In addition, lots of people are physically fit and fine. In countryside areas nearly every family has farm. As that aspect, children help their parents to do a number of works. consequently, they become strong and improve their physical fitness and immune system by doing this type of works. To example if I, nearly half of sports athletes are from rural areas. To sum up, it is clear that the gigantic cities help to up bring the children more effectively on the contrary we cannot overlook the benefits of countryside areas to nourishment of children.
In this modern era, lifestyle has undergone a plethora of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
over the decade, it
is known
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are the upcoming future of nation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
consequently
, the better nourishment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is required
. It
is recommended
that the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
better in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
than in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
enormous city. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the reason of this statement in upcoming paragraph.

On the one hand, metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
provide quality education to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Even, lots of extracurricular activities are available in the urban schools.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are getting excellent education. This study provide more and more knowledge to pupils. By virtue of this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a profitable job.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
secure their future by getting education which lead to job opportunities.
In addition
, thousands of other facilities
are served
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. One of them is a medical facility. In urban area's majority of hospitals are available for the caring of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Even, the vaccination process is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rapid in vast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have a better lifestyle in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cities and
they grow up with the balanced the health.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
from
another perspective, rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
scenario owing to the fact that these type of regions they provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
environment to children's nurturing.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countryside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are full of greenery and plants, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to maintain a lesser pollution in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
as a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could grow more
efficiently
and breath in fresh air.
In addition
, lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
physically
fit and fine. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
nearly
every family has farm. As that aspect,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their parents to do a number of works.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
consequently
, they become strong and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their physical fitness and immune system by doing this type of works. To example if I,
nearly
half of sports athletes are from rural areas.

To sum up, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the gigantic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to up bring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more
effectively
on the contrary
we cannot overlook the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to nourishment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay Development of children is better in countryside area than in cities

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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