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Some people think taking holiday at the beach is the best, while others prefer going to mountains or forests

Some people think taking holiday at the beach is the best, while others prefer going to mountains or forests 2x0nA
Many people believe that taking holiday at the beach is best, whereas other people prefer going to mountains or forests. In my opinion, i would like agree with first point of view. There are many places for holiday but some people enjoy going to mountains or forests. Firstly, people can go and enjoy the scenery at the same time. Secondly, there are so many beautiful scenes for them to take pictures. On the other hand, i would argue that taking holiday at the beach is best choice. Firstly, recreational activities in the sea are extremely diverse, in many places you can be satisfied when diving in the waters, watching the colorful coral reefs and trying your hand at catching seafood. Secondly, they can light a fire in the sea, grill seafood and stroll on the coast at night.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that taking holiday at the beach is best, whereas other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer going to mountains or forests. In my opinion,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
first
point of view.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places for holiday
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy going to mountains or forests.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can go and enjoy the scenery at the same time.
Secondly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
scenes for them to take pictures.

On the other hand
,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would argue that taking holiday at the beach
A determiner is probably missing here: "is the best".
is best
choice.
Firstly
, recreational activities in the sea are
extremely
diverse, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places you can
be satisfied
when diving in the waters, watching the colorful coral reefs and trying your hand at catching seafood.
Secondly
, they can light a fire in the sea, grill seafood and stroll on the coast at night.
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IELTS essay Some people think taking holiday at the beach is the best, while others prefer going to mountains or forests

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
138 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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