Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

the map below show the changes Music Shop first floor in 2010 and present day

the map below show the changes Music Shop first floor in 2010 and present day rby9k
The pictures below illustrations the transformation of the Music Shop's first floor both in 2010 and now. It is immediately obvious that Music Shop first floor has made remarkable including new buildings and recreation facilities. The outside area was developed, which was one of the key alterations. Today, exhibition room 4 was separated into two sections: a temporary display space and a children's area. There will be no more coffee, but a music bar has been relocated to take its place, and the former music bar area has been replaced with a vending machine. The receptionist has been relocated to the entrance hall, rather than the stairwell, as it was in 2015. The lift will be eliminated, which is a minor alteration and a wheelchair ramp is located next to the entrance. So, it is clear that the Music Shop changed and expanded during this period.
The pictures below illustrations the transformation of the
Music
Shop's
first
floor both in 2010 and
now
.

It is immediately obvious that
Music
Shop
first
floor has made remarkable including new buildings and recreation facilities.

The outside area
was developed
, which was one of the key alterations.
Today
, exhibition room 4
was separated
into two sections: a temporary display space and a children's area. There will be no more coffee,
but
a
music
bar has
been relocated
to take its place, and the former
music
bar area has
been replaced
with a vending machine.

The receptionist has
been relocated
to the entrance hall,
rather
than the stairwell, as it was in 2015. The lift will
be eliminated
, which is a minor alteration and a wheelchair ramp
is located
next
to the entrance.

So
, it is
clear
that the
Music
Shop
changed
and expanded during this period.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay the map below show the changes Music Shop first floor in 2010 and present day

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
146 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts