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spending long working hours.

spending long working hours. Nw5by
Nowadays, In Corporate World people work overtime to earn extra money or to impress their boss for promotion, But it gives very less time for them to spend time for themselves and creates many disadvantages. In this essay, I will discuss the pointers for the same. People want to achieve success in their personal life, So as a result they are ready to work beyond their working hours. For instance, In top Multinational companies, Employers work on weekend to get some extra bonus in their salary. There are many different objectives and for their accomplishment they work longer: Planning a vacation, Buying a new car, To clear debts, etc. At the end this can create many health issues like mental stress, depression, Sleeping disorders. On the other hand, In post covid work from home culture has attracted many employers to work additional, Companies creates many lucrative bonus offer for their own fulfillment. Recently According to survey published in new york times, Divorce cases has drastically rise and More than sixty percent of professionals accepted that their personal life have been effected to work for long hours. Thus created less time for their leisure activities or to spend time with the family, even to pursue their hobbies. In conclusion, Working long hours will help to achieve goals, but this will affect health, mental and personal life as well. Spending time for leisure activities is improtant to enjoy time with near and dear ones
Nowadays, In Corporate World
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
overtime to earn extra money or to impress their boss for promotion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for them to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for themselves and creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages. In this essay, I will discuss the pointers for the same.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
want to achieve success in their personal life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
as a result
they are ready to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
beyond their working hours.
For instance
, In top Multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, Employers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on weekend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra bonus in their salary. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
objectives and for their accomplishment they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
longer: Planning a vacation, Buying a new car, To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
debts, etc. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
this can create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health issues like mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, depression, Sleeping disorders.

On the other hand
, In post
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home culture has attracted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
additional,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
lucrative bonus offer for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
fulfillment. Recently According to survey published in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
new york
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, Divorce cases has
drastically
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "risen".
rise
and More than sixty percent of professionals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that their personal life have
been effected
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for long hours.
Thus
created less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their leisure activities or to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with the family, even to pursue their hobbies.

In conclusion
, Working long hours will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to achieve goals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this will affect health, mental and personal life
as well
. Spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for leisure activities is
Possible spelling mistake found.
improtant
to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with near and dear
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
ones
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IELTS essay spending long working hours.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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