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n this day and age, the majority of companies are changing various advertising strategies such as sponsoring sports events or sportsperson

n this day and age, the majority of companies are changing various advertising strategies such as sponsoring sports events or sportsperson pa29a
In this day and age, the majority of companies are changing various advertising strategies such as sponsoring sports events or sportsperson, which helps many companies promote their sales and reach more potential customers. Some people agree that this strategy has several benefits, whereas others think it brings more drawbacks. In my view, the advantages from sponsorship can outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why some people think that sponsorship has several advantages. For a start, sponsorship for sports is a good way to promote products to customers. For example, major events like World Cup or Olympics have numerous promoters. These companies invest a lot of money for the organization of sports events and care for sports stars, so their company’s logo was printed on the posters, player’s jerseys, banners, which can grab viewer’s attention towards their products. Furthermore, It is also possible to say that the companies become a popular and habitual name in society. In fact, people usually choose to buy products from renowned and habitual brands instead of smaller companies However, it is often argued that in fact sponsorship has some disadvantages. Firstly, many companies are selling low-quality and harmful products which have negative impacts on human health. For example, alcohol or tobacco companies are advertising their products by funding the organisation of sports events, and this could attract more people to use them, especially young people. It is also common for sports stars and teams to advertise drinks such as Coca Cola although they are not good for health. Furthermore, when people copy celebrity styles, it also causes a bad habit. Many young people watch sports events and they try to buy the same clothes as their idols, which means that they can cost a large amount of money. In conclusion, while there are some reasons to believe that sponsorship has some drawback, my own view is that the benefits of corporate sponsorship outweigh the disadvantages.
In this day and age, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are changing various advertising strategies such as sponsoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
or sportsperson, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
promote their sales and reach more potential customers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this strategy has several benefits, whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it brings more drawbacks. In my view, the advantages from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsorship
can outweigh the disadvantages.

On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsorship
has several advantages. For a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsorship
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to customers.
For example
, major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
like World Cup or Olympics have numerous promoters. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
invest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money for the organization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
and care for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
stars,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company’s
logo
was printed
on the posters, player’s jerseys, banners, which can grab viewer’s attention towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Furthermore
, It is
also
possible to say that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
become a popular and habitual name in society. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from renowned and habitual brands
instead
of smaller
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies


However
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that in fact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsorship
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are selling low-quality and harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on human health.
For example
, alcohol or tobacco
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are advertising their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
by funding the
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organisation' and 'organization') within a single text.
organisation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
, and this could attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them,
especially
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It is
also
common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
stars and teams to advertise drinks such as Coca Cola although they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for health.
Furthermore
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
copy celebrity styles, it
also
causes a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habit.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
events and
they try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the same clothes as their idols, which means that they can cost a large amount of money.

In conclusion
, while there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsorship
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawback, my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
view is that the benefits of corporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsorship
outweigh the disadvantages.
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IELTS essay n this day and age, the majority of companies are changing various advertising strategies such as sponsoring sports events or sportsperson

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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